New York Kings

.













TEAM: New York Kings
CONFERENCE AFFILIATION: World Conference
OWNER: TJ Barnes
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: New York Triceratops, 06-07 5th Place; New York Kings, 07-08 8th Place, 08-09 8th Place
LOCATION: New York, New York
ARENA: The Palace at New York
MOTTO: "Off With Your Head!"
MOST-HATED RIVAL(S): SnowBees, Underdogs, Iguanas

SEASON OUTLOOK

The New York franchise is now three years old, and those three years have seen a grand total of one playoff appearance and zero playoff wins. There have been a lot of variables during that span—several players have come and gone, owner TJ Barnes has increased his age by 50 percent, and even the team's name and logo have changed—but the one constant in all of this mediocrity has been Canada native Steve Nash, the only starting point guard the New York Triceratops/Kings have ever known.

Conventional wisdom would say, "Well, duh. Dump the Canuck!" But on draft day, when the Kings' turn came up, Conventional wisdom was busy doing something else, so TJ had to make the pick himself. And as the highest-rated Canadian still on the board, Nash was the obvious choice.

Nevertheless, Nash says the pick surprised him. "I really thought I had seen the last of New York. In fact, I had already put earnest money down on homes in each of the other WFBL cities, and during the final week of last season I gave all of my Kings gear to homeless kids in the Bronx. I guess that was a little premature. Now I have to go back to the Bronx and ask for my stuff back. That'll be awkward."

Also returning for another go with the Kings are guard Paul Pierce and forward Stephen Jackson. But even more exciting for TJ is the fact that he was alert enough to draft someone who shares his first name (TJ Ford), someone who shares his last name (Matt Barnes), someone whose name is really close to TJ's cousin Spencer Howes (Spencer Hawes), someone whose last name is a color (Michael Redd), and someone whose name looks—to an eight-year-old—like "Alien Invasion" (Allen Iverson). Why the other 11 teams kept passing on these players is a mystery. Goes to show how an obsession with stats can keep people from focusing on the important things, like cool names and being from Canada. With those two key elements in place, New York is poised for a deep playoff run—for sure this time.


LOGOS & UNIS

WALLPAPER DOWNLOADS
Click images to open wallpaper in window; then right click and save to desktop

Salt Lake SnowBees

.













TEAM: Salt Lake SnowBees
CONFERENCE AFFILIATION: Wasatch Conference
OWNER: Ted "Beekeeper" Barnes
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: Salt Lake SnowBees, 05-06 2nd Place, 06-07 9th Place, 07-08 6th Place, 08-09 9th Place
LOCATION: Salt Lake City, Utah
ARENA: SnowHive Court at Mr. Mac Arena
MOTTO: "A Solid Commitment to Meeting Reasonable Expectations"
MOST-HATED RIVAL(s): Nobody in particular

SEASON OUTLOOK

For the most part, Salt Lake SnowBees fans (those who are left, anyway—the last couple seasons have driven most into extinction and the rest into hiding) are a tame, submissive breed. As long as you talk to them in a quiet voice and never, ever mention the name Shawn Marion, they probably won't hurt you. Even so, for your own safety, it's best not to let the conversation turn to basketball at all—if, that is, the security guards at the state mental institution even let you talk to them.

Season after season of inflated expectations followed by gross underachievement can do that to a fan base. It's taking its toll on the players as well—even the normally cute and cuddly returnees Pau Gasol and Dirk Nowitzki have been a bit testy lately. Talk to them about offshore oil drilling or stem-cell research, and they'll be witty, fair-minded, and pleasant. Ask them how it feels to be brought back for another season in a SnowBees uniform, and they'll start tearing their arm hairs out.

So the upcoming WFBL season, needless to say, is a sore subject. It's kind of a shame, too, because this year's edition of the SnowBees could be one of the best ever. The frontcourt combo of Gasol and Nowitzki is formidable, even without their arm hairs. Jose Calderon gives Salt Lake the point guard they used to only fantasize about. Swingman Josh Smith is versatile and shot-blocky. And the bench includes multiple players who are not as crappy as you might think.

Of course, Ted "Beekeeper" Barnes returns as coach-owner, so you'll have to temper some of that optimism. But this team almost looks good enough to coach itself, which could reduce the Beekeeper to little more than an interesting distraction on the SnowBees' path to—dare we say it?—the 2010 Concludings.

Just don't say it too loudly.


LOGOS & UNIS




























































































































































WALLPAPER DOWNLOADS
Click images to open wallpaper in window; then right click and save to desktop

Rigby Trojans

.













TEAM: Rigby Trojans
CONFERENCE AFFILIATION: Wasatch Conference
OWNER: Nathan Wallace
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: Rigby Trojans: 06-07 3rd Place, 07-08 12th Place, 08-09 10th Place
LOCATION: Rigby, Idaho
ARENA: Philo T. Farnsworth Center
MOTTO: "We Will Be Brave! We Will Be Strong! We Will Keep the Name of Rigby Feared and Respected!"
MOST-HATED RIVAL(s): Abominables

SEASON OUTLOOK

As far as the "direction that things have been looking" for the Rigby Trojans goes, "up" hasn't really been the bearing of choice. More often than not, "down" (and occasionally "sideways") has been the norm. But all that changed one fateful Labor Day morning, when Nathan Wallace's franchise was awarded their first ever #1 spot in the WFBL Draft.

A fine spot to find oneself, to be sure, but whom to pick? For Wallace and the Trojans, it was a no-brainer. "It was LeBron all the way," said Wallace. "He's on TV way more than anyone else, he does this thing where he throws chalk in the air—which is awesome—and he has a movie coming out about how he's not only a fantastic player, but is also a great teammate. These are all tell-tale signs of a sure-fire #1 draft pick."

Aside from LeBron—the consummate teammate—Rigby has loaded their lineup with returning starters Vince Carter and Brook Lopez, as well as newcomers Carlos Boozer and Tony Parker. With a lineup like that, the Trojans will surely be considered preseason favorites to win the Wasatch crown.

But one wonders: will Wallace regret passing on Paul, leaving the reigning league EBP to wreak havoc in Zermatt as the A-Boms try to three-peat? The Rigby coach seems unruffled. "I never quite understood what the big deal is with Chris Paul, anyway. We had him in 06-07, and we didn't win no stinkin' Concludings."

LOGOS & UNIS



























































































































WALLPAPER DOWNLOADS
Click images to open wallpaper in window; then right click and save to desktop