Two-Time Defending Champion Zermatt Abominables

TEAM: Zermatt Abominables (aka "The Two-Time Defending Champs")
CONFERENCE AFFILIATION: World Conference
OWNER: Ben "The Great and Powerful Commish" Barnes
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: Magna Township Underdogs 05-06, Champs; Zermatt Abominables 06-07, 2nd Place, 07-08 Champs, 08-09 Champs
LOCATION: Zermatt, Switzerland
ARENA: Chateau Alpin Arena
MOTTO: "Yawn!"
MOST-HATED RIVAL(s): Sundancers, Gators, Let's See...Everyone?

SEASON OUTLOOK

Here's a fun fact: in the four seasons of the WFBL's existence, Chris Paul has won three Concludings titles, all while being on Commissioner Barnes' teams. We mention this so that next March, as you're reading the Final Power Rankings, you're not surprised to see the Abominables in the top spot, next to some sort of auto-fill saying something like "Zermatt dominates (such-and-such team) to win another Concludings title." It's just how things go around here.

And even though owners were scattered across the world on draft day, their collective, simultaneous release of expletives—at the moment Rigby took LeBron James with the first pick—was heard across all nations (some claim that even Rigby coach Nathan Wallace immediately regretted passing on the diminutive reigning EBP). Even with the recent injury concerns of big man Al Jefferson and versatile forward Antawn Jamison, all signs point to another title for the A-Boms.

Ho-hum.

"Seriously, and I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but haven't we been through this before?" said Barnes, polishing his Concludings trophies. "Winning championships are nice and all, but it's just become so natural, so expected, that I'm going to see if I can get the fellas involved in some extra-curricular activities, to keep them entertained up until—and possibly during—this year's playoffs."

"Of course, our ultimate goal is to destroy all teams that dare challenge us," said Paul. "But we like to do other things too. For example, I plan on promoting my new book, called 'Long Shot: Never Too Small to Dream'. It's a great inspirational story about how anyone can win three Concludings titles in four years and become the best point guard on the planet, no matter how small you are. All it takes is hard work, dedication, and being blessed by the heavens with super-human athletic abilities."

"I plan on doing commercials," said a trimmed-down Al Jefferson, who attributes his loss of 31 pounds in the off-season to his new Subway diet. "There's talks right now between some new ads with me and Jared. Man, that Jared. He gets a bad rap, but he's a real nice kid."

"We also plan on continuing our patented song-and-dance numbers," added Jamison, referring to the Holiday-themed dance routine spearheaded by Zermatt mascot Alger the A-Bom. "In fact, just last weekend coach let us spend the entire practice on our new Halloween number. And actually, I think we have a clip of it. Do we have a....we do? Ok, let's go ahead and roll it."

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