New York Kings

TEAM: New York Kings
CONFERENCE AFFILIATION: World Conference
OWNER: TJ Barnes
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: New York Triceratops, 06-07 5th Place; New York Kings, 07-08 8th Place, 08-09 8th Place
LOCATION: New York, New York
ARENA: The Palace at New York
MOTTO: "Off With Your Head!"
MOST-HATED RIVAL(S): SnowBees, Underdogs, Iguanas

SEASON OUTLOOK

The New York franchise is now three years old, and those three years have seen a grand total of one playoff appearance and zero playoff wins. There have been a lot of variables during that span—several players have come and gone, owner TJ Barnes has increased his age by 50 percent, and even the team's name and logo have changed—but the one constant in all of this mediocrity has been Canada native Steve Nash, the only starting point guard the New York Triceratops/Kings have ever known.

Conventional wisdom would say, "Well, duh. Dump the Canuck!" But on draft day, when the Kings' turn came up, Conventional wisdom was busy doing something else, so TJ had to make the pick himself. And as the highest-rated Canadian still on the board, Nash was the obvious choice.

Nevertheless, Nash says the pick surprised him. "I really thought I had seen the last of New York. In fact, I had already put earnest money down on homes in each of the other WFBL cities, and during the final week of last season I gave all of my Kings gear to homeless kids in the Bronx. I guess that was a little premature. Now I have to go back to the Bronx and ask for my stuff back. That'll be awkward."

Also returning for another go with the Kings are guard Paul Pierce and forward Stephen Jackson. But even more exciting for TJ is the fact that he was alert enough to draft someone who shares his first name (TJ Ford), someone who shares his last name (Matt Barnes), someone whose name is really close to TJ's cousin Spencer Howes (Spencer Hawes), someone whose last name is a color (Michael Redd), and someone whose name looks—to an eight-year-old—like "Alien Invasion" (Allen Iverson). Why the other 11 teams kept passing on these players is a mystery. Goes to show how an obsession with stats can keep people from focusing on the important things, like cool names and being from Canada. With those two key elements in place, New York is poised for a deep playoff run—for sure this time.

LOGOS & UNIS