The Long and Shorts of It

.
PARK CITY (AP)—Just prior to the start of 2009-10 season, owner Dave Barton prophetically stated, "The fates didn't allow us to win it all last year. While we unquestionably had a championship-caliber team, our old logos wouldn't have produced championship-caliber merchandise."

"PC" stands for "pretty cool."

The logos of the WFBL have always been as big a part of the league as the actual games, if not bigger. That's why redesigning their identity was the most offseason important move the Sundancers could have made (unless you count reuniting Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant). The numbers don't lie:

Old logo: 3 Years, 0 Championships
New Logo: 1 Year, 1 Championship

Park City's 7-2 Concludings victory not only brought a resounding end to Zermatt's reign of terror, but as per tradition, it also earned Barton his choice of communally funded WFBL merchandise.



















All hail the mighty Wasatch Conference.

"It came down to custom shorts or that fabulous 5th Season commemorative necktie available in the league store," explained Barton. "Words cannot describe how difficult this decision was. Given the tie's lack of musical capability, I decided it could wait 'til next year."

2010 WFBLies

.
League Hands Out Annual Awards

Obama was always truly a Sundancer fan. Last year was just a bunch of lies.


Executive of the Year
Dave Barton, Park City Sundancers
For the second-straight year, Barton wins the coveted award as best owner/coach/manager/obsess-er of all things WFBL. Barton's resume includes assembling 4 players ranked in the top 12, winning his first-ever Concludings title, and dethroning Zermatt in the process (a feat which is deserving of consideration for the Nobel Peace Prize. He's at least as deserving as Barak Obama).

Runner-Up
Ben Barnes, Zermatt Abominables

Article of the Year Wade, Dancers Drum Duncan, Gators for 2nd Wasatch Title, Dave Barton, Week 22
Mirroring the recent trend of "Part Two's" being as good as or better than the first (Iron Man 2, The Dark Knight), the tale of the Sundance Kid, Part II takes home this year's prize. It's Barton's second-consecutive Article of the Year Award. Boy, is anyone else tired of the 'Dancers winning everything? Anyone?

Runner-Up
A Conversation with the Commish, Ted Barnes, Ben Barnes, Week -1

Photoshoppery of the Year Alger and Ellie, Ben Barnes, Week 12
Though Barnes denies the image was digitally manipulated in any way, we can't help but be a little skeptical. I mean, no way Ellie's fitting in that t-shirt cannon!

Runner-Up
Wade & Durant, Dynamic Duo, Dave Barton, Concludings

Best Draft Pick Stephen Curry, 12th Round, Park City
Who would have thought that out of all the big-name rookies this year, the one with the biggest impact would be Dell Curry's kid. Well, Park City knew. And then traded him to Rigby. How'd THAT work out for you, huh Dave? Oh wait...

Runner-Up
Tyreke Evans, 12th Round, Twin Falls


Best Waiver Pick-Up Darren Collison, Zermatt
Originally a desperation move after Paul's injury, not even the A-Boms could have imagined how productive Bizzaro CP3 would end up being. Simply put, he saved Zermatt's season (until CP3 ruined it by coming back at precisely the wrong time).
Runner-Up
None. Collison was that good.

Disappointment of the Year - Team Richmond Butchers
For a team built on the auto-picker, the Butchers were unbelievably stacked. Would this be the year Richmond lives up to the hype. Again, like a neglected houseplant, the Butchers wilted as the season wore on.

Runner-Up
Rigby Trojans

Disappointment of the Year - Player Gilbert Arenas, 3rd Round, Udorn
It's not so much where he was drafted (everyone agrees the Jai-Rai were reaching a bit with the selection), but the way Gilby's renaissance took everyone by surprise, building up expectations only to tear them down with the knumbskullery of bringing guns into the locker room. Any bets on whether he even gets drafted at all next year?

Runner-Up
Devin Harris, St. George Underdogs

Most One-Sided Trade Roy Hibbert/Luke Ridnour for Marc Gasol, Zermatt/Richmond
The annual Zermatt-Richmond swindle-that-doesn't-look-so-one-sided-until-Richmond-goes-in-the-tank featured some flash-in-the-pan backups traded from Zermatt to a guy who turned into one of the more reliable centers in the league. What will the A-Boms do without the Butchers?

Runner-Up
Luol Deng/Kevin Martin for Josh Smith, Zermatt/Salt Lake


Best Weekly Performances 2009-10

FG% - .5866, Richmond, Week 5
FT% - .9211, Maracaibo, Week 17 3PT - 39, New York, Week 12
REB - 174, Salt Lake, Week 18
AST - 104, Twin Falls, Week 17
ST - 40, Udorn, Week 18
BLK - 28, Salt Lake, Week 18
TO - 15, Salt Lake, Week 3, Richmond, Week 11
PTS - 458, Udorn, Week 8, Park City, Week 13

Bold: All-Time High

Final Power Rankings

.
An End of An Era

Months later, Wade continues to wear the same Championship T-shirt every day, as he takes the Commissioner Barnes Trophy on a world tour.

The Commissioner may be upset about this year's outcome, but that's not going to stop the Power Rankings from doing its job. Which, of course, is to give our opinion on the final state of the WFBL, even if you really didn't ask for it. So, for those of you still paying attention:

Team, Rank, (Previous), Record

1 (1) 104-71-5

The Sundancers couldn't have asked for more of a fairy tale ending to their 2009-10 campaign, setting a new franchise record for wins by beating Zermatt in Concludings. Not even the Commish attempting to cancel the season wrap-up articles could rain on their victory parade.

2 (2) 92-81-7
When the A-Boms lose championship games, they do it big. Despite yet another Concludings appearance, this time with a team of rookies and misfits, the result has to be seen as a disappointment. Four straight trips to the Concludings are no consolation to only coming home with two Commissioner Barnes trophies.

3 (5) 101-81-7
Twin Falls defied all odds by not only beating wonder boy LeBron James in making it to the Wasatch Concludings, but actually putting up a fight against Park City. The amazing part was it all happened with Kobe half a world away, pouting it up for Udorn. It's apparent that as long as Adams is running things in Twin Falls, Gator fans can expect to compete.

4 (3) 97-86-6
We can spend all day talking about the Igs' obvious lack of green-hue discernment, but rumblings in Maracaibo have fans and players blaming coach Hopkin for their season-ending meltdown, as he "abandoned" them for his honeymoon. As for scheduling his wedding during the playoffs, Hopkin, points out that the Igs would have choked either way, so he might as well be on vacation while it happened.

5 (4) 91-90-8
LeBron keeps talking about "opting out" of his final year in Rigby so he can "test the free agent waters". We're not sure what he's talking about, since that's a term that hasn't been used since the old days of the now-defunct NBA. Sorry, your majesty, there's no way Rigby's not keeping you around for another playoff run.

6 (6) 91-95-3
Udorn seems to have the old "securing the final playoff spot after dealing with a myriad of injuries then losing to Maracaibo in the first round" routine down pat. In all likelihood Kobe will get a second chance to help break this cycle next year.

7 (7) 97-87-5
The New York Kings missed the playoffs by half a game, this is true. But if you look at it the way college football purists do, the entire season is basically a playoff. So from that perspective, the New York Kings advanced to, what, the 19th round of the playoffs? Not bad!

8 (9) 89-98-2
For the first time in a couple years, the Salt Lake SnowBees were relevant on the final day of the regular season, coming within a blowout loss to Rigby of making the playoffs. Before that, they kind of slipped in and out of relevance throughout the season. Things are looking up for next year, though, amid rumors that the WFBL playoffs may expand to 96 teams instead of 6. Most bracketologists predict that this change will improve Salt Lake's playoff chances from "long shot" to "bubble team."

9 (8) 88-94-7
Nephi took a big step back this season, falling to 9th place after their surprising 5th place finish in 2008-09. So who will still be around to help right the ship next year, Amar'e or Rondo? If we were them, we'd want to cut ties with the wrong half of the infamous Amar'e/Bosh debacle.

10 (10) 85-97-5
His last name notwithstanding, Jason Kidd isn't getting any younger. Neither is Kevin Garnett, whose erstwhile nickname, "The Kid" is now used only ironically. And while Marcus Camby often acts like a baby, he is not one. So if the Richmond Butchers are going to improve on this season's disappointment, they might need to start looking for players who aren't old enough to have played against Larry Bird and who think Dr. J is the name of a generic-brand cola. Just a suggestion.

11 (11) 82-101-6
Most collective bargaining agreements in professional sports give an obvious advantage to either the players or the owners. In the NFL, for example, the salary cap and rules against guaranteed contracts clearly favor the owners. In Major League Baseball, there is no salary cap, so players can and do exert their will on ownership. The WFBL is unique in that its labor agreement benefits no one. That's right, by allowing only one guaranteed contract per year and forcing all the other players back into a draft, the WFBL manages to limit owners' ability to keep players while at the same time giving players zero control over where they play. The one advantage to this system is that it gives ne'er-do-well teams like St. George to wipe the slate (mostly) clean every year. The U-Dogs seem likely to shake off all of the dead weight on its roster not named Dwight Howard and wait for Dwyane Wade, Pau Gasol, Deron Williams, and Carmello Anthony to fall into their lap. Easy!

12 (12) 75-108-6
Winless over their final nine weeks including the playoffs, the hapless Tigers never even escaped the bottom rung of the consolation ladder. Big surprise. For those counting at home, that's three last place finishes in five years.

This Week in the WFBL—2010 Concludings

.

Dancers' Dynamic Duo Decimates Defending Champs


















"Oh, what a feeling, when we're sundancing on the ceiling!"

PARK CITY (AP)—For the last two seasons, the Park City Sundancers have had little trouble blowing out the riffraff of the league while consistently underwhelming on the big stage. Not this time.

Hotly anticipated by at least two people, Park City's Concludings rematch with the Zermatt Abominables was close in the early going, but the Sundancers soon put their game into high gear after a fiery pep talk from owner Dave Barton, "All right now, I don't want them to win a single category! You ATTACK ALL WEEK! If they even make it look close, I swear I'll take every last one of you out. You make sure they remember—FOREVER—the week they played the Sundancers! Leave no doubt!"

And leave no doubt they did, dominating Zermatt, 7-1-1 (a 9-0 was in play on the final day of competition). Everyone got in on the act for the Sundancers. Brook Lopez finally justified Park City's controversial midseason trade with Rigby. Gerald Wallace played the "glue guy" as he has done so well all season, while managing to avoid a major injury one last time. And Derrick Rose gave as good a performance as the Sundancers have come to expect from their point guard spot.

However, the story for the newly minted champs was once again Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant. Durant was stellar, shooting 51% from the field and 93% from the line, while compiling 5 threes, 33 rebounds, 8 blocks, 125 points. But with the possibility of this being his last series in a Sundancer uniform, Wade was just a little better. He turned in a virtuoso performance of 65% field goal shooting, 26 rebounds, 35 assists, 11 steals, 7 blocks, and 101 points to earn his first Concludings EBP.

To his credit, Durant seemed happy to defer the spotlight to his teammate once again. "I've been coming in second in EBP voting all season, so I'm used to it," said Durant. "Really, I don't mind being Robin to D-Wade's Batman, aside from the ridiculous yellow cape and itchy green tights."

But is this the swan song for Park City's dynamic duo? After reaching 92 wins for two consecutive seasons, claiming two conference titles, and now winning the WFBL championship, it seems the only way to bring Wade back is by improbably landing the #1 pick in next year's draft lottery.



















Can Kevin "Nightwing" Durant soar to greater heights out from under Wade's cape next year?

Meanwhile, as the Sundancers were combining to form the basketball equivalent of Voltron, the two-time defending champs were in a state of disarray. Forced to rely on a rusty Chris Paul, an immature Andray Blaaaatche, and an under-the-weather Monta Ellis, the A-Boms fell short in their quest to become the first team to three-peat in WFBL history. But considering the league has only been around five years, there's certainly no shame in that.

A good sport in the loss, League Commissioner and Zermatt owner Ben Barnes (maybe you've heard of him?) refused to play the asterisk card, "There really was no combination of players I could have thrown out there that would have beaten Park City this week. What can I do? I already made plenty of preventative excuses for my team not being very good this year. I'll just leave it at that."






















Park City does what only Bayside has done before—take down the Commish in the Concludings. That sounded a lot more impressive before Bayside was mentioned.

Around the Playoff Consolation Ladder

Gators 6, Iguanas 3

Trojans 5, Jai-Rai 3, Trojans 1

Around the Consolation Ladder

Kings 6, SnowBees 3

Stratagem 6, Butchers 3

Underdogs 6, Tigers 3

Conference Concludings Game of the Week Voting Results:

Zermatt Abominables 3 (60%)
Park City Sundancers 2 (40%)

Conference Concludings EBP:

Darren Collison, Zermatt—4 votes (66% of vote)

________________________________________________________

Fun Facts: Apr 8-18 2007

First-class stamp: $0.41

Gallon of milk: $3.59

#1 Song:"Don't Matter"—Akon
#1 Movie: "Disturbia"

Each week, This Week in the WFBL looks back and shines a light on a moment in the WFBL's illustrious history. This week, we look at the WFBL Concludings from 2007 (Apr 8-18). In honor of the Abominables' loss in this year's Concludings, we highlight the only other time the two-time champs came away empty handed—their 9-0 pasting at the hands of surprising Bayside—as a reminder to A-Bom fans that, hey, it could have been (and was) much worse.

WFBL CONCLUDINGS, APR 8-18, 2007

They're Grrrrrrrreat! Tigers Maul A-Boms, Complete Remarkable Turnaround

BAYSIDE (AP)—A year ago the Bayside Tigers were the West Valley Squackboxes and the laughing stock of professional basketball.

Now, they're kings of the world.

The Tigers maintained their ownership of the Zermatt Abominables, dominating every statistical category in a 9-0 Concludings victory.

"Surf's up Zermatt!" bellowed Vince Carter, winner of the 2007 Concludings EBP. "The Tigers are on the prowl!"

Overlooked seemingly the entire season by members of the media, the Tigers are overlooked no more, not just winning on the biggest stage, but dominating.

"I think we should have a recall vote on the regular season EBP trophy," said a rancorous Shawn Marion, referring to the disappearance of Kevin Garnett in the Concludings (see story below). "How can you be beneficial if you aren't even playing? You can't!!!"

Bayside's worst-to-first story is a tale of hope for every owner and coach in the WFBL, a story that begins with putridity, ends in jubilation, and has a little bit of name change/franchise relocation in the middle.

"I think our fans in West Valley can appreciate what has happened here, even though we bailed on them and blamed the city they live in for our poor play last year," said center Marcus Camby. "And when I say 'our' poor play, I don't mean mine, because I wasn't playing for us last year."

"You know, all season long, it seemed like it was 'Zermatt this' and 'Sundancers that'—there was even a bunch of 'SnowBees here' and 'Iguanas there'. Heck, the Sand Dunes got more pub than we did," said Carter, obviously happy to make WFBL and AP writers pen a story about Bayside winning, and not about one of their other precious darling teams.

"But it's all about Bayside now, baby!"

Coach Rich Lachowsky, who undoubtedly must be enjoying this, could not be reached for comment. But if he were to be reached, he surely would have something witty and interesting to say, possibly including a derision of either the Abominables, coach Barnes, the league in general, or all three.

Abominables, Barnes Left with Questions; KG's Love Misguided

ZERMATT(AP)—"All I can do is tip my hat and call the Tigers my daddies."

Those were the solemn words of Zermatt Abominables coach Ben Barnes as he was cornered in a hallway after the 9-0 pummeling suffered at the hands of Bayside in the 2007 WFBL Concludings.

Was it only a year ago that Barnes was hoisting the platinum trophy that bares his name, as coach of the Magna Township Underdogs? Have a mere twelve months passed since Bayside—then the West Valley Squackboxes—finished dead last and were a broken franchise?

"But it could be worse, you know," Barnes continued. "I could be still sitting under a mango tree with only a nickel to my name. I mean, I'm the Commissioner of the greatest basketball league in the world, regardless of who ended up winning the title.

"But honestly, KG, what were you thinking?"

Barnes, of course was referring to regular season EBP Kevin Garnett, who, according to sources, had an "epiphany" a few days into the Concludings.

"I figured, sure we could beat Bayside and win the Concludings title, getting myself a championship for the first time in my storied career," said Garnett. "But then I thought about our team, and their draft status for next season. That's when I knew that losing the Concludings would ensure Zermatt of getting a higher draft pick, and therefore, help their chances of selecting me again."

Garnett, in order to carry out his ill-conceived scheme, pretended to have an injury and did not play the rest of the Concludings, with Andre Iguodala following suit. That led to a 9-0 demolishing at the hands of arch-rival Bayside, the most lopsided outcome in playoff history.

"Poor, misguided Kevin," said Barnes. "I can't help but feel responsible a little bit. I should have reminded my players that the WFBL draft is totally random and is not affected in any way by a team's previous history, so pretending you are injured and costing your team a championship is not outweighed by moving up from the number 10 to the number 9 pick in the draft, if it even worked that way. My bad."

"I love my team, and this city, and I only meant for the best," Garnett said. "It were only farce, I meant no harm."

Concludings Preview

.
2010 Concludings









For the first time ever, the Concludings feature a rematch. A year ago, the 'Dancers were the favorites and got dropped by Zermatt. Can Park City play up to its potential when it matters most? Can the A-Boms continue their unlikely run of scrapping together just enough for a victory? Will the return of CP3 be enough for the A-Boms to overcome the 'Dancers once again, making it three straight titles? Or will Park City finally end Barnes' reign of terror?

Season Series: Abominables, 9-8-1







Seed: 1 Record: 86-70-6








Seed: 1 Record: 92-66-4


FIELD GOAL %: The Sundancers finished the regular season fourth in this category, but the Wasatch champs have gotten a bit cold lately. The A-Boms, however, finished ninth this season but have been getting better production lately from, of all people, Monta Ellis. We'll take Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant over a streaky Ellis any day.

EDGE:









FREE THROW%: Once again, the A-Boms finished the regular season as one of the worst free-throw shooters in the league (10th place) and regularly concede the category. Park City on the other hand shoot over 80% as a team from the line. With Wade and Durant getting to the line a combined 20 times per game (making almost 86%), this one shouldn't be close.

EDGE:








THREE-POINTERS: Don't let that third-place ranking fool you; ever since Zermatt decided to go big with Josh Smith at SF, the A-Boms haven't won the threes category (they last won it in Week 15, against Park City, coincidentally). The Sundancers aren't much better though, but Wade, Durant, and returning PF Gerald Wallace should be just enough to give the 'Dancers the edge.

EDGE:








REBOUNDS: Park City can rebound with the best of them, and the return of Wallace should only help their cause. But if there's one thing the A-Boms excel at, it's rebounding. With Smith, Andray Blatche, and Al Jefferson all averaging over 8.5 rebounds per game, the A-Boms should be able to snare their first category.

EDGE:








ASSISTS: Assists have never really been Park City's forte, but this week, so much hinges on the level of play that Chris Paul can put forth after his extended absence. At 100%, there's no better distributor of the rock than Paul, and along with Ellis and Smith, the A-Boms should be set. Having said that, who knows how much rust CP3 needs to shake off to be effective? We think not much.

EDGE:








STEALS: The 'Dancers have some great thieves in Wade and Wallace, but this is the A-Boms' dominant category once again. Paul, Ellis, and Smith all average over 2 steals a game, and should be able to lead Zermatt to a categorical victory going away.

EDGE:








BLOCKS: Normally this would be a no-brainer edge in favor of the Abominables. But we all know what Wade's capable of, and Marc Gasol will be missing his second straight week due to injury. That said, the combo of Smith, Blatche, and Jefferson should be enough for the A-Boms to swat away the competition

EDGE:








TURNOVERS: Park City ranked dead last in turnovers, and if anyone in their organization tells you they expect to win this category, they're lying to you. The A-Boms were great at holding onto the ball, but lately have struggled, as Blatche, Smith, and Ellis all average over 2.5 turns per game. Even with Collison out (4.5 turnovers/game) and Paul in, this one's too close to call.

EDGE: TIE


POINTS: The only chance the A-Boms have here is to have more games this week (nope, even) or hope for some sort of injury on the 'Dancers (possible, not likely). Fact is the 'Dancers just plain don't lose points. Barton has created a scoring machine, and with the league's second and fifth leading scorers (Durant and Wade, respectively) should have no trouble taking care of business, points-wise.

EDGE:








PREDICTION: 4-4-1 TIE

And according to WFBL rules, Park City wins the tiebreaker by having the better regular-season record. But consider this: For the first time ever, the previous season's tote bag winner did not make the Concludings, so all bets are off. Having said that, Commissioner Barnes-led teams are 3-1 in the title game, while Dave Barton-led teams are 0-1. And on top of that, the Abominables own this year's Oaken Skis of Yore, winning the overall head-to-head battle. But don't forget, last year Park City came in to the Concludings with the Skis, but it was Zermatt that left with the Commissioner Barnes Trophy. At the same time, the A-Boms own a 38-32-2 record all-time against their arch-rivals. Once again, it would appear that this year's Championship will be decided by which team has fewer players miss games.

This Week in the WFBL—Conference Concludings

.

Wade, 'Dancers Drum Duncan, Gators for 2nd Wasatch Title




















PARK CITY (AP)—

MONDAY/TUESDAY - REDFORD ARENA

The Park City Sundancers and Twin Falls Gators square off in the Wasatch Concludings for the second year in a row. The whole affair kinda feels like a rehash. League promoters claim it's due to Peter Cetera's theme song for the rematch, "Glory of Love," failing to generate the same excitement as Joe Esposito's "You're the Best Around" from the previous year.

WEDNESDAY

It is revealed that Tim Duncan has grown bitter about the Gators' Conference Concludings loss from a year ago. Now under the tutelage of the mysterious Sato (an old nemesis of Park City consultant Kesuke "Mr." Miyagi), Duncan claims Dwyane Wade dishonored him by blocking more shots than he did in the deciding game (4-0).

THURSDAY - PARK CITY LOCKER ROOM, BEFORE TIP-OFF

Park City has fallen behind Twin Falls, and Wade is despondent about the absence of Gerald Wallace and Derrick Rose from the starting lineup due to injuries.

Miyagi: Concentrate. Focus. Most important.

Wade: I can't, Mr. Miyagi, not today.

Miyagi: Why?

Wade: Because we're starting George Hill and Paul Millsap, that's why.

Miyagi: When you feel life out of focus, always return to basic of life. Breathe. No breathe, no life. Come, try. Breath out of mouth. Breathe in through nose. In... out... Now how feel?

Wade: Better. More focused.

Miyagi: Good. Now go out and kick butt.

Wade dominates to the tune of 36 points, 10 rebounds, 7 assists, three 3s, a steal and a block, helping Park City to regain the lead.

SUNDAY - TIP-OFF

With the Sundancers leading the Gators 6-3, Duncan dramatically enters the arena on a zip line, grabbing Brook Lopez and putting a knife to his throat.

Duncan: Get back or I kill her!

Lopez: I'm a he!

Miyagi: Duncan, you are one of Gator's best player. No disgrace Twin Falls here.















Duncan: Your student disgrace me. I have been dishonored all because of him.

Wade: For whatever happened, I apologize. Except for the part about beating you guys last year.

Duncan: Apology will not give me back my honor!

Wade: Neither will this.

Duncan: In their eyes it will. No more talk. You play me one-on-one to the death, or I kill her!

Lopez: Still a he!

Duncan: Shut up!

Miyagi: This not tournament. This for real.

Wade: I'm pretty sure this is still a tournament.

Miyagi: Aye. Miyagi prone to hyperbole.















Wade and Duncan begin their one-on-one battle. They are well-matched, but Duncan has the size advantage and gradually gains the upper hand. Following Mr. Miyagi's lead, twenty thousand strong at Redford Arena pull out handheld drums and begin twisting them back and forth. An exhausted Wade regains his composure, knowing what he must do. As Duncan attacks the basket, Wade begins to viciously swing his arms back and forth, blocking a career high five shots to clinch another 5-4 victory. Wade grabs his beaten foe by the hair and cocks his hand back.

Wade: Live or die, man?

Duncan: Die.

Wade: Wrong. Honk!

















With CP3 Sidelined, Whozits and Whatsisnames Lead A-Boms to Fourth Straight Concludings Appearance

ZERMATT (AP)—Another year, another trip to the Concludings.

Undoubtedly the most storied dynasty in the history of the WFBL, the Zermatt Abominables shocked the Iguanas with a 5-4 comeback win in the World Conference Concludings. The win gives the two-time defending champs their fourth straight appearance in the title game, further cementing their dominance over the league.

"I think by far this is the least talented team I've ever assembled," said coach Ben Barnes, who looks to bring his A-Boms an unprecedented third straight Concludings title against arch-rival Park City. "Furthermore, I would like to formally announce my candidacy for Executive of the Year WFBLy. In fact, you might as well start the engraving right now."

But it hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows for this year's A-Boms squad. Despite taking an early lead thanks to no-name rookies Darren "Bizarro CP3" Collison—mentored by the injured former EBP—and Marcus Thornton, Zermatt found themselves staring at the end of their championship run. Thanks to a heroic performance from the Iguanas' All-Star center David Lee, the A-Boms entered the final game of Sunday night needing 6 rebs and 13 pts from Andray Blatche—yes, that's right, Andray Blatche—to seal the deal.

"Lee played great Sunday afternoon," said Blatche, a late-season acquisition via trade with Rigby. "The man's a monster. One can only wonder how things would've turned out had he not sat out Friday's game with...what was it? Menstrual cramps? I'm not even sure. But it must've been bad if it forced him to miss time during the World Concludings—his only missed game all season—right?"

The very astute Blatche ended up saving the day for the A-Boms, grabbing the requisite rebounds and scoring the final baskets late in the fourth quarter.

"Let's not give the guy a medal, he still almost lost the thing for us with all the chucking he was doing," said Barnes, who immediately pulled Blatche after scoring the go-ahead points.

This year's scrappy A-Boms are indeed a different sort from the last three. They stared down the barrel of the end of an era, and without any type of All-Star caliber leadership, shoved their finger right in, Bugs Bunny-style. Then the gun exploded on the Iguanas, leaving behind only the charred remains of disappointment.

"Has anyone talked bout how we wore our green uniforms again?" asked Blatche. "I feel like that needs to be mentioned."

Around the Playoff Consolation Ladder

Trojans 4, Jai-Rai 4, Trojans 1

Around the Consolation Ladder

Kings 7, Butchers 2

SnowBees 6, Underdogs 3

Stratagem 4, Tigers 4, Stratagem 1

Conference Concludings Game of the Week Voting Results:

Park City Sundancers 6 (75%)
Twin Falls Gators 2 (25%)

Los Iguanas de Maracaibo 5 (63%)
Zermatt Abominables 3 (37%)

Round 1 EBP:

David Lee, Maracaibo—5 votes (71% of vote)

________________________________________________________

Fun Facts: Mar 16-22, 2009

First-class stamp: $0.44

Gallon of milk: $3.39

#1 Song:"Right Round"—Flo Rida
#1 Movie: "Knowing"

Each week, This Week in the WFBL looks back and shines a light on a moment in the WFBL's illustrious history. This week, we look at the Conference Concludings from 2009 (Mar 16-22). The 'Dancers and A-Boms once again meet in this year's Concludings. A year ago, it took some amazing, last-minute heroics from EBP runner-up Wade-san to get Park City into the title game. Here's to rubbing salt in the wounds, Gator fans!

CONFERENCE CONCLUDINGS, MAR 16-22, 2009

Wade, 'Dancers Wax Off Kobe, Gators for Wasatch Title























PARK CITY (AP)—

MONDAY/TUESDAY - REDFORD ARENA, ALL WASATCH BASKETBALL CONCLUDINGS

The two Wasatch finalists, the Park City Sundancers and Twin Falls Gators, treat the crowd to a thrilling montage of high flying dunks, long range shots, blocks, and boards set to Joe Esposito's "You're the Best Around."

WEDNESDAY - TWIN FALLS LOCKER ROOM, JUST BEFORE TIP-OFF

Twin Falls holds the early lead 6-3 lead, but Park City superstar Dwyane Wade has yet to play. He is expected to make his anticipated first appearance tonight. As the team heads towards the tunnel, Gators assistant coach and Mamba Kai Sensei John Kreese pulls Al Thornton aside.

Kreese: Al, I want Wade out of commission

Thornton: But Sensei, we can beat these guys!

Kreese: I don't want them just beaten.

Thornton: But I'll get thrown out!

Kreese: Out of commission.















Kreese trains his iron eyes on Thornton. He cannot endure their searing heat. His head drops as Kreese bends him to his will. Thornton tentatively walks over to the Park City bench, jumps high in the air, and lands a flying sidekick to Wade's right hip.

Thornton: I'm sorry, Dwyane! I didn't mean it!

Wade crumples to the floor as Thornton is dragged away amid a shower of boos. The Gators have their way with the Sundancers in the absence of the EBP runner-up.

FRIDAY - PARK CITY LOCKER ROOM, A FEW HOURS BEFORE TIP-OFF

A dejected Dwyane Wade, accompanied by team consultant Kesuke "Mr." Miyagi, lies on the trainers' table, resigned to missing his second straight game after not missing a game all year.

Wade: Mr. Miyagi... you think we had a chance of winning?

Mr. Miyagi: Aye, had good chance.

Wade: Can't you fix my hip with that thing you do? You know, with the clapping and the rubbing, and the hey hey hey, my hip feels better?

Mr. Miyagi: No need play anymore. You prove point.

Wade: What, that I can take a beating? Every time I see the Gators, they'll know they got the best of me. How will I ever have balance in my life? I mean, aside from having more money than I could ever spend and being idolized by millions.

(Pause)

Mr. Miyagi: Close eye.

Miyagi's hands come together, punctuated by a dramatic music note.

FRIDAY - TIP-OFF

Wade emerges from locker room as the crowd goes wild.

Announcer: Dwyane Wade is gonna play? Dwyane Wade is gonna play! This is what it's all about, folks!

SUNDAY - REDFORD ARENA, DECIDING GAME

With their star player once again on the court to galvanize the team, Park City has cut into the Gators once insurmountable lead, now only trailing 5-4. As the Gators call a timeout to regroup, Mamba Kai Sensei John Kreese motions for his star pupil, Kobe Bryant.

Kreese: Pummel the hip...you have a problem with that?

Kobe: (scared) No, Sensei.

Kreese: No mercy.















As play resumes, Kobe cheap shots Wade several times in his bruised right hip, but the referees are distracted by Tim Duncan flailing around after getting slightly nudged by Chris Bosh, so no foul is called. Wade limps to the bench, but after a timeout, returns to the floor wearing a traditional Karate Gi. As the Gators dribble up the court with the clock running down, Wade slowly assumes the crane position under the basket by standing on one leg and lifting both arms high into the air. Kobe calls for the ball.

Announcer: 30 seconds remaining...

Rondo: It's over, guys! Get 'em a body bag, yyyeeeah!!!

Kreese: Finish them!

Kobe hears the call of his sensei and drives to the hoop. As he releases the ball, Wade leaps high in the air and blocks the shot. Frustrated, Kobe gets his own rebound and shoots it a second time. And once again, Wade leaps and bats the ball away. Time expires. Kobe stares at the scorer's table in disbelief as he sees that Wade's last two blocked shots are the difference Park City needed to win the blocks category 11-10, and thusly the series, 5-4. The Sundancer crowd storms the court in a wild rush of celebration. A tearful Kobe grabs the Wasatch Concludings trophy and personally hands it to the Sundancer hero.















Kobe: You're all right, Wade. You can be my sleepover buddy any time.