This Week in the WFBL—2010 Concludings

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Dancers' Dynamic Duo Decimates Defending Champs


















"Oh, what a feeling, when we're sundancing on the ceiling!"

PARK CITY (AP)—For the last two seasons, the Park City Sundancers have had little trouble blowing out the riffraff of the league while consistently underwhelming on the big stage. Not this time.

Hotly anticipated by at least two people, Park City's Concludings rematch with the Zermatt Abominables was close in the early going, but the Sundancers soon put their game into high gear after a fiery pep talk from owner Dave Barton, "All right now, I don't want them to win a single category! You ATTACK ALL WEEK! If they even make it look close, I swear I'll take every last one of you out. You make sure they remember—FOREVER—the week they played the Sundancers! Leave no doubt!"

And leave no doubt they did, dominating Zermatt, 7-1-1 (a 9-0 was in play on the final day of competition). Everyone got in on the act for the Sundancers. Brook Lopez finally justified Park City's controversial midseason trade with Rigby. Gerald Wallace played the "glue guy" as he has done so well all season, while managing to avoid a major injury one last time. And Derrick Rose gave as good a performance as the Sundancers have come to expect from their point guard spot.

However, the story for the newly minted champs was once again Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant. Durant was stellar, shooting 51% from the field and 93% from the line, while compiling 5 threes, 33 rebounds, 8 blocks, 125 points. But with the possibility of this being his last series in a Sundancer uniform, Wade was just a little better. He turned in a virtuoso performance of 65% field goal shooting, 26 rebounds, 35 assists, 11 steals, 7 blocks, and 101 points to earn his first Concludings EBP.

To his credit, Durant seemed happy to defer the spotlight to his teammate once again. "I've been coming in second in EBP voting all season, so I'm used to it," said Durant. "Really, I don't mind being Robin to D-Wade's Batman, aside from the ridiculous yellow cape and itchy green tights."

But is this the swan song for Park City's dynamic duo? After reaching 92 wins for two consecutive seasons, claiming two conference titles, and now winning the WFBL championship, it seems the only way to bring Wade back is by improbably landing the #1 pick in next year's draft lottery.



















Can Kevin "Nightwing" Durant soar to greater heights out from under Wade's cape next year?

Meanwhile, as the Sundancers were combining to form the basketball equivalent of Voltron, the two-time defending champs were in a state of disarray. Forced to rely on a rusty Chris Paul, an immature Andray Blaaaatche, and an under-the-weather Monta Ellis, the A-Boms fell short in their quest to become the first team to three-peat in WFBL history. But considering the league has only been around five years, there's certainly no shame in that.

A good sport in the loss, League Commissioner and Zermatt owner Ben Barnes (maybe you've heard of him?) refused to play the asterisk card, "There really was no combination of players I could have thrown out there that would have beaten Park City this week. What can I do? I already made plenty of preventative excuses for my team not being very good this year. I'll just leave it at that."






















Park City does what only Bayside has done before—take down the Commish in the Concludings. That sounded a lot more impressive before Bayside was mentioned.

Around the Playoff Consolation Ladder

Gators 6, Iguanas 3

Trojans 5, Jai-Rai 3, Trojans 1

Around the Consolation Ladder

Kings 6, SnowBees 3

Stratagem 6, Butchers 3

Underdogs 6, Tigers 3

Conference Concludings Game of the Week Voting Results:

Zermatt Abominables 3 (60%)
Park City Sundancers 2 (40%)

Conference Concludings EBP:

Darren Collison, Zermatt—4 votes (66% of vote)

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Fun Facts: Apr 8-18 2007

First-class stamp: $0.41

Gallon of milk: $3.59

#1 Song:"Don't Matter"—Akon
#1 Movie: "Disturbia"

Each week, This Week in the WFBL looks back and shines a light on a moment in the WFBL's illustrious history. This week, we look at the WFBL Concludings from 2007 (Apr 8-18). In honor of the Abominables' loss in this year's Concludings, we highlight the only other time the two-time champs came away empty handed—their 9-0 pasting at the hands of surprising Bayside—as a reminder to A-Bom fans that, hey, it could have been (and was) much worse.

WFBL CONCLUDINGS, APR 8-18, 2007

They're Grrrrrrrreat! Tigers Maul A-Boms, Complete Remarkable Turnaround

BAYSIDE (AP)—A year ago the Bayside Tigers were the West Valley Squackboxes and the laughing stock of professional basketball.

Now, they're kings of the world.

The Tigers maintained their ownership of the Zermatt Abominables, dominating every statistical category in a 9-0 Concludings victory.

"Surf's up Zermatt!" bellowed Vince Carter, winner of the 2007 Concludings EBP. "The Tigers are on the prowl!"

Overlooked seemingly the entire season by members of the media, the Tigers are overlooked no more, not just winning on the biggest stage, but dominating.

"I think we should have a recall vote on the regular season EBP trophy," said a rancorous Shawn Marion, referring to the disappearance of Kevin Garnett in the Concludings (see story below). "How can you be beneficial if you aren't even playing? You can't!!!"

Bayside's worst-to-first story is a tale of hope for every owner and coach in the WFBL, a story that begins with putridity, ends in jubilation, and has a little bit of name change/franchise relocation in the middle.

"I think our fans in West Valley can appreciate what has happened here, even though we bailed on them and blamed the city they live in for our poor play last year," said center Marcus Camby. "And when I say 'our' poor play, I don't mean mine, because I wasn't playing for us last year."

"You know, all season long, it seemed like it was 'Zermatt this' and 'Sundancers that'—there was even a bunch of 'SnowBees here' and 'Iguanas there'. Heck, the Sand Dunes got more pub than we did," said Carter, obviously happy to make WFBL and AP writers pen a story about Bayside winning, and not about one of their other precious darling teams.

"But it's all about Bayside now, baby!"

Coach Rich Lachowsky, who undoubtedly must be enjoying this, could not be reached for comment. But if he were to be reached, he surely would have something witty and interesting to say, possibly including a derision of either the Abominables, coach Barnes, the league in general, or all three.

Abominables, Barnes Left with Questions; KG's Love Misguided

ZERMATT(AP)—"All I can do is tip my hat and call the Tigers my daddies."

Those were the solemn words of Zermatt Abominables coach Ben Barnes as he was cornered in a hallway after the 9-0 pummeling suffered at the hands of Bayside in the 2007 WFBL Concludings.

Was it only a year ago that Barnes was hoisting the platinum trophy that bares his name, as coach of the Magna Township Underdogs? Have a mere twelve months passed since Bayside—then the West Valley Squackboxes—finished dead last and were a broken franchise?

"But it could be worse, you know," Barnes continued. "I could be still sitting under a mango tree with only a nickel to my name. I mean, I'm the Commissioner of the greatest basketball league in the world, regardless of who ended up winning the title.

"But honestly, KG, what were you thinking?"

Barnes, of course was referring to regular season EBP Kevin Garnett, who, according to sources, had an "epiphany" a few days into the Concludings.

"I figured, sure we could beat Bayside and win the Concludings title, getting myself a championship for the first time in my storied career," said Garnett. "But then I thought about our team, and their draft status for next season. That's when I knew that losing the Concludings would ensure Zermatt of getting a higher draft pick, and therefore, help their chances of selecting me again."

Garnett, in order to carry out his ill-conceived scheme, pretended to have an injury and did not play the rest of the Concludings, with Andre Iguodala following suit. That led to a 9-0 demolishing at the hands of arch-rival Bayside, the most lopsided outcome in playoff history.

"Poor, misguided Kevin," said Barnes. "I can't help but feel responsible a little bit. I should have reminded my players that the WFBL draft is totally random and is not affected in any way by a team's previous history, so pretending you are injured and costing your team a championship is not outweighed by moving up from the number 10 to the number 9 pick in the draft, if it even worked that way. My bad."

"I love my team, and this city, and I only meant for the best," Garnett said. "It were only farce, I meant no harm."

Concludings Preview

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2010 Concludings









For the first time ever, the Concludings feature a rematch. A year ago, the 'Dancers were the favorites and got dropped by Zermatt. Can Park City play up to its potential when it matters most? Can the A-Boms continue their unlikely run of scrapping together just enough for a victory? Will the return of CP3 be enough for the A-Boms to overcome the 'Dancers once again, making it three straight titles? Or will Park City finally end Barnes' reign of terror?

Season Series: Abominables, 9-8-1







Seed: 1 Record: 86-70-6








Seed: 1 Record: 92-66-4


FIELD GOAL %: The Sundancers finished the regular season fourth in this category, but the Wasatch champs have gotten a bit cold lately. The A-Boms, however, finished ninth this season but have been getting better production lately from, of all people, Monta Ellis. We'll take Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant over a streaky Ellis any day.

EDGE:









FREE THROW%: Once again, the A-Boms finished the regular season as one of the worst free-throw shooters in the league (10th place) and regularly concede the category. Park City on the other hand shoot over 80% as a team from the line. With Wade and Durant getting to the line a combined 20 times per game (making almost 86%), this one shouldn't be close.

EDGE:








THREE-POINTERS: Don't let that third-place ranking fool you; ever since Zermatt decided to go big with Josh Smith at SF, the A-Boms haven't won the threes category (they last won it in Week 15, against Park City, coincidentally). The Sundancers aren't much better though, but Wade, Durant, and returning PF Gerald Wallace should be just enough to give the 'Dancers the edge.

EDGE:








REBOUNDS: Park City can rebound with the best of them, and the return of Wallace should only help their cause. But if there's one thing the A-Boms excel at, it's rebounding. With Smith, Andray Blatche, and Al Jefferson all averaging over 8.5 rebounds per game, the A-Boms should be able to snare their first category.

EDGE:








ASSISTS: Assists have never really been Park City's forte, but this week, so much hinges on the level of play that Chris Paul can put forth after his extended absence. At 100%, there's no better distributor of the rock than Paul, and along with Ellis and Smith, the A-Boms should be set. Having said that, who knows how much rust CP3 needs to shake off to be effective? We think not much.

EDGE:








STEALS: The 'Dancers have some great thieves in Wade and Wallace, but this is the A-Boms' dominant category once again. Paul, Ellis, and Smith all average over 2 steals a game, and should be able to lead Zermatt to a categorical victory going away.

EDGE:








BLOCKS: Normally this would be a no-brainer edge in favor of the Abominables. But we all know what Wade's capable of, and Marc Gasol will be missing his second straight week due to injury. That said, the combo of Smith, Blatche, and Jefferson should be enough for the A-Boms to swat away the competition

EDGE:








TURNOVERS: Park City ranked dead last in turnovers, and if anyone in their organization tells you they expect to win this category, they're lying to you. The A-Boms were great at holding onto the ball, but lately have struggled, as Blatche, Smith, and Ellis all average over 2.5 turns per game. Even with Collison out (4.5 turnovers/game) and Paul in, this one's too close to call.

EDGE: TIE


POINTS: The only chance the A-Boms have here is to have more games this week (nope, even) or hope for some sort of injury on the 'Dancers (possible, not likely). Fact is the 'Dancers just plain don't lose points. Barton has created a scoring machine, and with the league's second and fifth leading scorers (Durant and Wade, respectively) should have no trouble taking care of business, points-wise.

EDGE:








PREDICTION: 4-4-1 TIE

And according to WFBL rules, Park City wins the tiebreaker by having the better regular-season record. But consider this: For the first time ever, the previous season's tote bag winner did not make the Concludings, so all bets are off. Having said that, Commissioner Barnes-led teams are 3-1 in the title game, while Dave Barton-led teams are 0-1. And on top of that, the Abominables own this year's Oaken Skis of Yore, winning the overall head-to-head battle. But don't forget, last year Park City came in to the Concludings with the Skis, but it was Zermatt that left with the Commissioner Barnes Trophy. At the same time, the A-Boms own a 38-32-2 record all-time against their arch-rivals. Once again, it would appear that this year's Championship will be decided by which team has fewer players miss games.

This Week in the WFBL—Conference Concludings

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Wade, 'Dancers Drum Duncan, Gators for 2nd Wasatch Title




















PARK CITY (AP)—

MONDAY/TUESDAY - REDFORD ARENA

The Park City Sundancers and Twin Falls Gators square off in the Wasatch Concludings for the second year in a row. The whole affair kinda feels like a rehash. League promoters claim it's due to Peter Cetera's theme song for the rematch, "Glory of Love," failing to generate the same excitement as Joe Esposito's "You're the Best Around" from the previous year.

WEDNESDAY

It is revealed that Tim Duncan has grown bitter about the Gators' Conference Concludings loss from a year ago. Now under the tutelage of the mysterious Sato (an old nemesis of Park City consultant Kesuke "Mr." Miyagi), Duncan claims Dwyane Wade dishonored him by blocking more shots than he did in the deciding game (4-0).

THURSDAY - PARK CITY LOCKER ROOM, BEFORE TIP-OFF

Park City has fallen behind Twin Falls, and Wade is despondent about the absence of Gerald Wallace and Derrick Rose from the starting lineup due to injuries.

Miyagi: Concentrate. Focus. Most important.

Wade: I can't, Mr. Miyagi, not today.

Miyagi: Why?

Wade: Because we're starting George Hill and Paul Millsap, that's why.

Miyagi: When you feel life out of focus, always return to basic of life. Breathe. No breathe, no life. Come, try. Breath out of mouth. Breathe in through nose. In... out... Now how feel?

Wade: Better. More focused.

Miyagi: Good. Now go out and kick butt.

Wade dominates to the tune of 36 points, 10 rebounds, 7 assists, three 3s, a steal and a block, helping Park City to regain the lead.

SUNDAY - TIP-OFF

With the Sundancers leading the Gators 6-3, Duncan dramatically enters the arena on a zip line, grabbing Brook Lopez and putting a knife to his throat.

Duncan: Get back or I kill her!

Lopez: I'm a he!

Miyagi: Duncan, you are one of Gator's best player. No disgrace Twin Falls here.















Duncan: Your student disgrace me. I have been dishonored all because of him.

Wade: For whatever happened, I apologize. Except for the part about beating you guys last year.

Duncan: Apology will not give me back my honor!

Wade: Neither will this.

Duncan: In their eyes it will. No more talk. You play me one-on-one to the death, or I kill her!

Lopez: Still a he!

Duncan: Shut up!

Miyagi: This not tournament. This for real.

Wade: I'm pretty sure this is still a tournament.

Miyagi: Aye. Miyagi prone to hyperbole.















Wade and Duncan begin their one-on-one battle. They are well-matched, but Duncan has the size advantage and gradually gains the upper hand. Following Mr. Miyagi's lead, twenty thousand strong at Redford Arena pull out handheld drums and begin twisting them back and forth. An exhausted Wade regains his composure, knowing what he must do. As Duncan attacks the basket, Wade begins to viciously swing his arms back and forth, blocking a career high five shots to clinch another 5-4 victory. Wade grabs his beaten foe by the hair and cocks his hand back.

Wade: Live or die, man?

Duncan: Die.

Wade: Wrong. Honk!

















With CP3 Sidelined, Whozits and Whatsisnames Lead A-Boms to Fourth Straight Concludings Appearance

ZERMATT (AP)—Another year, another trip to the Concludings.

Undoubtedly the most storied dynasty in the history of the WFBL, the Zermatt Abominables shocked the Iguanas with a 5-4 comeback win in the World Conference Concludings. The win gives the two-time defending champs their fourth straight appearance in the title game, further cementing their dominance over the league.

"I think by far this is the least talented team I've ever assembled," said coach Ben Barnes, who looks to bring his A-Boms an unprecedented third straight Concludings title against arch-rival Park City. "Furthermore, I would like to formally announce my candidacy for Executive of the Year WFBLy. In fact, you might as well start the engraving right now."

But it hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows for this year's A-Boms squad. Despite taking an early lead thanks to no-name rookies Darren "Bizarro CP3" Collison—mentored by the injured former EBP—and Marcus Thornton, Zermatt found themselves staring at the end of their championship run. Thanks to a heroic performance from the Iguanas' All-Star center David Lee, the A-Boms entered the final game of Sunday night needing 6 rebs and 13 pts from Andray Blatche—yes, that's right, Andray Blatche—to seal the deal.

"Lee played great Sunday afternoon," said Blatche, a late-season acquisition via trade with Rigby. "The man's a monster. One can only wonder how things would've turned out had he not sat out Friday's game with...what was it? Menstrual cramps? I'm not even sure. But it must've been bad if it forced him to miss time during the World Concludings—his only missed game all season—right?"

The very astute Blatche ended up saving the day for the A-Boms, grabbing the requisite rebounds and scoring the final baskets late in the fourth quarter.

"Let's not give the guy a medal, he still almost lost the thing for us with all the chucking he was doing," said Barnes, who immediately pulled Blatche after scoring the go-ahead points.

This year's scrappy A-Boms are indeed a different sort from the last three. They stared down the barrel of the end of an era, and without any type of All-Star caliber leadership, shoved their finger right in, Bugs Bunny-style. Then the gun exploded on the Iguanas, leaving behind only the charred remains of disappointment.

"Has anyone talked bout how we wore our green uniforms again?" asked Blatche. "I feel like that needs to be mentioned."

Around the Playoff Consolation Ladder

Trojans 4, Jai-Rai 4, Trojans 1

Around the Consolation Ladder

Kings 7, Butchers 2

SnowBees 6, Underdogs 3

Stratagem 4, Tigers 4, Stratagem 1

Conference Concludings Game of the Week Voting Results:

Park City Sundancers 6 (75%)
Twin Falls Gators 2 (25%)

Los Iguanas de Maracaibo 5 (63%)
Zermatt Abominables 3 (37%)

Round 1 EBP:

David Lee, Maracaibo—5 votes (71% of vote)

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Fun Facts: Mar 16-22, 2009

First-class stamp: $0.44

Gallon of milk: $3.39

#1 Song:"Right Round"—Flo Rida
#1 Movie: "Knowing"

Each week, This Week in the WFBL looks back and shines a light on a moment in the WFBL's illustrious history. This week, we look at the Conference Concludings from 2009 (Mar 16-22). The 'Dancers and A-Boms once again meet in this year's Concludings. A year ago, it took some amazing, last-minute heroics from EBP runner-up Wade-san to get Park City into the title game. Here's to rubbing salt in the wounds, Gator fans!

CONFERENCE CONCLUDINGS, MAR 16-22, 2009

Wade, 'Dancers Wax Off Kobe, Gators for Wasatch Title























PARK CITY (AP)—

MONDAY/TUESDAY - REDFORD ARENA, ALL WASATCH BASKETBALL CONCLUDINGS

The two Wasatch finalists, the Park City Sundancers and Twin Falls Gators, treat the crowd to a thrilling montage of high flying dunks, long range shots, blocks, and boards set to Joe Esposito's "You're the Best Around."

WEDNESDAY - TWIN FALLS LOCKER ROOM, JUST BEFORE TIP-OFF

Twin Falls holds the early lead 6-3 lead, but Park City superstar Dwyane Wade has yet to play. He is expected to make his anticipated first appearance tonight. As the team heads towards the tunnel, Gators assistant coach and Mamba Kai Sensei John Kreese pulls Al Thornton aside.

Kreese: Al, I want Wade out of commission

Thornton: But Sensei, we can beat these guys!

Kreese: I don't want them just beaten.

Thornton: But I'll get thrown out!

Kreese: Out of commission.















Kreese trains his iron eyes on Thornton. He cannot endure their searing heat. His head drops as Kreese bends him to his will. Thornton tentatively walks over to the Park City bench, jumps high in the air, and lands a flying sidekick to Wade's right hip.

Thornton: I'm sorry, Dwyane! I didn't mean it!

Wade crumples to the floor as Thornton is dragged away amid a shower of boos. The Gators have their way with the Sundancers in the absence of the EBP runner-up.

FRIDAY - PARK CITY LOCKER ROOM, A FEW HOURS BEFORE TIP-OFF

A dejected Dwyane Wade, accompanied by team consultant Kesuke "Mr." Miyagi, lies on the trainers' table, resigned to missing his second straight game after not missing a game all year.

Wade: Mr. Miyagi... you think we had a chance of winning?

Mr. Miyagi: Aye, had good chance.

Wade: Can't you fix my hip with that thing you do? You know, with the clapping and the rubbing, and the hey hey hey, my hip feels better?

Mr. Miyagi: No need play anymore. You prove point.

Wade: What, that I can take a beating? Every time I see the Gators, they'll know they got the best of me. How will I ever have balance in my life? I mean, aside from having more money than I could ever spend and being idolized by millions.

(Pause)

Mr. Miyagi: Close eye.

Miyagi's hands come together, punctuated by a dramatic music note.

FRIDAY - TIP-OFF

Wade emerges from locker room as the crowd goes wild.

Announcer: Dwyane Wade is gonna play? Dwyane Wade is gonna play! This is what it's all about, folks!

SUNDAY - REDFORD ARENA, DECIDING GAME

With their star player once again on the court to galvanize the team, Park City has cut into the Gators once insurmountable lead, now only trailing 5-4. As the Gators call a timeout to regroup, Mamba Kai Sensei John Kreese motions for his star pupil, Kobe Bryant.

Kreese: Pummel the hip...you have a problem with that?

Kobe: (scared) No, Sensei.

Kreese: No mercy.















As play resumes, Kobe cheap shots Wade several times in his bruised right hip, but the referees are distracted by Tim Duncan flailing around after getting slightly nudged by Chris Bosh, so no foul is called. Wade limps to the bench, but after a timeout, returns to the floor wearing a traditional Karate Gi. As the Gators dribble up the court with the clock running down, Wade slowly assumes the crane position under the basket by standing on one leg and lifting both arms high into the air. Kobe calls for the ball.

Announcer: 30 seconds remaining...

Rondo: It's over, guys! Get 'em a body bag, yyyeeeah!!!

Kreese: Finish them!

Kobe hears the call of his sensei and drives to the hoop. As he releases the ball, Wade leaps high in the air and blocks the shot. Frustrated, Kobe gets his own rebound and shoots it a second time. And once again, Wade leaps and bats the ball away. Time expires. Kobe stares at the scorer's table in disbelief as he sees that Wade's last two blocked shots are the difference Park City needed to win the blocks category 11-10, and thusly the series, 5-4. The Sundancer crowd storms the court in a wild rush of celebration. A tearful Kobe grabs the Wasatch Concludings trophy and personally hands it to the Sundancer hero.















Kobe: You're all right, Wade. You can be my sleepover buddy any time.

Conference Concluding Previews

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Wasatch Conference Concludings









Deep down, you knew it would come to this. Can the Gators exact revenge on the Sundancers for last year's miraculous D-Wade block?

Season Series: Tied, 9-9-0

Seed: 2
Record: 85-71-6
Outlook: Once again, the Gators show the newly-named EBP who's boss. Will the current exceptional play of D-Will and D-West—along with their two-game advantage on Park City—be enough for Twin Falls to avenge last year's heartbreaker?

Seed: 1
Record: 92-66-4
Outlook: With Derrick Rose ailing and Jameer Nelson with only two games this week, the 'Dancers' title hopes rest on George Hill. Yeah we don't know who he is either. But we do know who Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant are, and despite having fewer games, we think they should have enough to score the victory.


Prediction: 5-4









World Conference Concludings









For the second straight year, it's Igs-A-Boms with a trip to the Concludings on the line. The big question: does Zermatt break out the St. Patty's green once again?

Season Series: Iguanas, 9-8-1

Seed: 2
Record: 83-73-6
Outlook: It was never really in doubt for the Igs against Udorn. A world now rallies around you, Maracaibo, as the second-to-last hope we all have at seeing the Abominable dynasty die. Coach Hopkin gets married this week...what's the over/under on how many times he checks on his team during the reception and/or honeymoon?

Seed: 1
Record: 86-70-6
Outlook: The A-Boms were hoping to get CP3 back in time for their first playoff game, but it looks like that's not going to happen. Zermatt will be hard-pressed to beat a team they lost to a mere two weeks ago, with essentially the same lineup—this time with Marcus Thornton instead of Randy Foye. Having said that, the Concludings have never taken place without a Ben Barnes-led team participating.


Prediction: 6-3

This Week in the WFBL Playoffs—Rd 1

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Live-Blogging the Wasatch Conference Round One




















LeBron James, a portrait in moods: Happy (left, before the series), and sad (right, after the series).

TWIN FALLS (AP)—Its been two years and I'm fully healed from the last live-blogging disaster in Maracaibo. Even so, the bigwigs at the AP were wary of sending me back to cover the World Conference Round One, so here I am in snowy Twin Falls! Who needs the tropical warmth of Venezuela when you're just gonna be inside a basketball arena all week long anyways?

3/8/10 Morning Shootaround

There's chatter that the Trojans are thinking of sitting LeBron tonight, as a reward for winning the EBP. I know I'm no WFBL coach, but that seems a bit counter-productive to me. LeBron's here, but he's not out there warming up. He is, however, taking pretend pictures of every...hang on...okay okay..."cheeeeeese!"...alright you too man...hey I want a copy of that one!...

7:30 PM

As expected, no LeBron tonight. The Gators have put the Trojans in a big hole to start the week off. Tonight, Good David West decided to show up, and Timmy had a nice all-around game. One of the x-factors coming in was going to be the rookies—Rigby's Steph Curry and Twin Falls' Tyreke Evans—and so far Curry's having a tough time adjusting to the big stage. Really poor shooting, and he's turned it over as many times as West and Duncan combined. Not how the Trojans wanted to start off.

3/9/10

Looks like Vince "Half-Man, Half-A-Season" Carter decided to show up for the Trojans. If the matchup ended today though, the EBP would go to Deron Williams. It's funny, you hear him compared unfavorably to Chris Paul the past three years, but with CP3 out, D-Will really hasn't taken over the "best PG in the league" role like some thought he would. Tonight, however? 28 points, 17 assists, 1 turnover, 71% FG...not bad.

3/10/10 In Line for Snacks

Dang Idaho basketball teams! All they have are potato-related products. Can't decide between a potato dog or churro fries. Meanwhile, this matchup is seriously getting out of hand for Rigby. The Gators now have a 6-2-1 lead as rookie sensation Tyreke Evans just messed around and got a triple double. I wonder if he's related in any way to Adams' wife, Carolyn Evans-Adams? Let's see, mental note, look into relationship between star shooting guard and coach's wife, if any.

3/11/10

Well that's weird. Only Steph Curry and Vince Carter are out there on the court tonight. But what's more perplexing is that they still have only managed to close the gap to 5-3-1. Looking ahead, it appears both teams have the same amount of games remaining. Not sure where Rigby can make up another category...rebounds perhaps? LeBron should probably show his face tomorrow, and the Trojans need him to bring the pain, big time. Now if you'll excuse me, it's halftime, and the Twin Falls 13th Ward is about to perform a truncated version of their region-winning road show based on the classic Home Evening short "Honesty Leads to Integrity".

3/12/10

LeBron's back! And he shot 7-18! Wait, that's not gonna cut it. Meanwhile the Gators aren't doing anything spectacular, but just like they've been doing all year long, everybody's putting up solid numbers across the board. I think I just saw Adams on the phone with the team's travel agent, booking a bus to Park City.

3/13/10

Wait a minute, there's someone on the other line. It's Steph Curry. What's that young rook? You say you've got 35 points, 10 assists, 6 rebounds, 4 steals, 5 three-pointers and a block that say the Gators' bus to Park City isn't ready? Needs an oil change and new tires? It probably didn't help Twin Falls' cause that Adams decided to rest Duncan in what I overheard him call a "blowout victory". With one day left, the Gators have the 7-2 lead, but FG%, rebounds, steals, blocks, turnovers, and points are all up in the air. If the Gators lose, it would be an unraveling the likes of which I haven't seen since Weber State against Montana.

3/14/10

And there's the final horn. 6-2-1, Gators. In the end, the Trojans put up a fight but it was too much of that patented all-around great play from the Gators. You gotta wonder how this would have ended if the...ahem..."EBP" would have have played one more game. Sure, they would have lost turnovers, but rebounds, and conceivably points and steals could have been the Trojans'. But it's on to Park City for the Gators, back to Rigby for the Trojans, and back to WFBL headquarters for me. I think I see some youths coming down the alley swinging sacks of potatoes in a menacing fashion.


Igs, Jai Rai, Set Record For Most Clichés in a Single Article

MARACAIBO (La Verdad)—With the crowd at their backs, Maracaibo came blazing out of the gates in the World Semfinals like a well-oiled machine firing on all cylinders. Udorn, meanwhile, looked like they left their 'A' game back in Udorn whilst wandering behind a Venezuelan woodshed for 7-2 whooping.

EBP candidate David Lee illuminated Maracaibo's winning strategy, "When the Jai Rai looked a little out of synch early, we smelled blood and went for the jugular. We knew we couldn't afford to get lackadaisical, so we just tried to keep this one in the bag.

"It was all over but the shouting after the first few days," continued Andre Igoudala, "so we decided to put on a clinic, 'How to Seal Victories.' After all, our fans weren't paying hard earned money to watch us taking a cakewalk in the park."

So what went wrong for Udorn? Kobe Bryant broke down Udorn's subpar effort with this nugget of wisdom, "Well, instead of playing to win, I think we were playing not to lose. But give Maracaibo credit. They got us on the ropes and blew the game wide open with a coffin-nailing knock out punch."

Udorn owner Devin Jackson also lamented, "I think it's clear that we've gone to the well once too often. We circled the wagons around Kobe all season, so him only having two games really took the wind out of our sails."

"Plus, they did play 6 more games than us," groused Danny Granger, offering the only tangible, game-related fact of this entire article.

Around the Consolation Ladder

Kings 5, SnowBees 4

Butchers 5, Stratagem 4

Underdogs 5, Tigers 3, The Game

Rd 1 Game of the Week Voting Results:

Rigby Trojans 5 (71%)
Twin Falls Gators 2 (28%)

Los Iguanas de Maracaibo 5 (71%)
Udorn Jai-Rai 2 (28%)

Week 19 EBP:

LeBron James, Rigby—4 votes (57% of vote)

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Fun Facts: Mar 24-30, 2008

First-class stamp: $0.42

Average movie ticket price: $7.18

#1 Song:"Love In This Club"—Usher ft. Young Jeezy
#1 Movie: "21"

Each week, This Week in the WFBL looks back and shines a light on a moment in the WFBL's illustrious history. This week, we look at Round 1 from 2008 (Mar 24-30). LeBron James has now won two EBP trophies. He's also now lost both playoff series immediately following receiving his award. Both times, those losses have come at the hands of the Gators. This was the first.

ROUND ONE, MAR 24-30, 2008

Gators Chomp 'Caibo, Kobe "Makes Statement" All Over LeBron's EBP Trophy

TWIN FALLS (AP)—As the final buzzer sounded, Kobe Bryant,
his Twin Falls Gators having just beaten Maracaibo 5-4—their first-ever playoff series victory—calmly walked over to rival LeBron James of the Iguanas. Was it to exchange pleasantries on a series well-played? Was it to wish him luck in his future endeavors? You don't know Kobe Bryant.

With thousands of Maracaibo fans watching in disbelief, the Mamba, ever the dignitary, grabbed LeBron's EBP trophy, which the Iguana had just received in a pre-series ceremony, and broke the bronze statue with his bare hands. He then threw the bottom half at LeBron's face, and bit off, chewed and swallowed the trophy's head.

"Let 'em go, let 'em go," said Commissioner Barnes, who was on hand for the series, as respective team officials tried to rush onto the court to deter the brawl that was certain to ensue. "They need to settle this themselves."

Only there was no brawl, no retaliation from LeBron. The 2008 Exceedingly Beneficial Participant only stood and cried as Kobe surprisingly had no problem chewing the trophy head, a replica of James' own noggin, which is no small feat considering the size to which it had grown over the past few weeks.

Kobe muttered no words, for words were unnecessary. The chewing said it all.

Bryant stepped up his game for the playoff clash, besting his averages in many categories. LeBron, however, couldn't do the same, and the disappointing Iguanas, not necessarily known for coming through in the clutch, fell in the first round of the playoffs once again.

"Leave to the Igs to the throttling! ARGHHHHHHH!" coach Fran Hopkin was heard to have said. "It is all the pressure of Chavez!"

It was quite a statement the Mamba made, who is obviously upset about not winning his second EBP trophy. One can only imagine what he'll do when faced against the top-seeded and regular season champion St. George Underdogs this week.

"We wanted to come in here and make a statement," said the Gators' Allen Iverson, speaking of statements. "That statement was: We are advancing to the next round. All apologies to Zermatt, but we feel we are the best team right now, and guess what, St. George...it's your turn to receive a statement."

And receive a statement they did, as the Gators would go on to do the unthinkable, defeating the U-Dogs 8-1 and earning their only Concludings trip.

Week 19 Power Rankings

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Let's Do This Thing

LeBron hopes this year's EBP trophy equates to better postseason success than 2008's.

Well, that was fun. All those weeks of laboring over statistics, scouring the waiver wire, fleecing an opponent in a trade, and we're through. It's playoff time. So for the elite, the Commissioner Barnes trophy and some custom shorts lie at the end of the three-week tournament. For the not-so-elite, a tote bag and the hopes of their name getting drawn first in the 2010 Dwyane Wade sweepstakes. Before we get too far into Round One, let's get some final thoughts on each team.

Team, Rank, (Previous), Record

1 (2) 92-66-4

With their statement-making 6-3 win over Twin Falls, Park City clinched the first-round bye and finished only a half-game behind their final record of a year ago. The 'Dancers look like the favorites this year, but will that #1 ranking prove to be their downfall yet again?

2 (1) 86-70-6
The A-Boms clinched their fourth straight first-round bye—one for every year of their existence, by the way—by only losing to the Igs 3-5-1. Coach Barnes may spin it as resting their players for the postseason, but the Power Rankings gets a stinking suspicion that this may be the worst team the two-time defending champ has ever taken to the playoffs.

3 (4) 83-73-6
Despite not reaching their goal of winning the World regular season crown, the Igs have to be pleased with not only making the playoffs again, but perhaps striking fear in the minds of the A-Boms. After five straight playoff appearances, is this the year 'Caibo breaks through?

4 (5) 80-77-5
No longer in consideration for the Most Disappointing Team WFBLy, the Trojans set their sights on upending perennial postseason powerhouse Twin Falls. Will 2010 EBP LeBron take the Trojans to the promised land, or fizzle in the first-round like 2008 EBP LeBron?

5 (3) 85-71-6
The Gators have been an odd team to explain all season long. Their players do a lot of things well, but nothing great. They're going to need someone to step up this week if they are going to sweep Rigby and force a Wasatch Conference Concludings rematch with Park City.

6 (7) 82-79-1
Along with Park City, the Jai-Rai are one of the hottest teams heading into the playoffs, having won an impressive two in a row! No really, that's impressive. Udorn has yet to win three straight this season, and has won two straight only twice. Now's as good a time as any to break that record, Jai-Rai.

7 (8) 80-78-4
Ok, so NOW it's the end of the world. New York just got cold at the wrong time of the year, losing three in a row before trying to salvage their season with last week's victory, which came up a half a category short. Now it's on to the tote bag, as the Kings try to salvage whatever pride remains in New York City.

8 (9) 74-83-5
If only there were one more week, Nephi totally would have caught Salt Lake for that 8th seed! But alas, there are only 19 weeks. Strats fans can take heart knowing that they've got the longest active win streak (four weeks), and are the early favorites to win that tote bag!

9 (6) 76-84-2
In the end, Rigby was just too much for the SnowBees. Hard to believe this once-proud franchise battled for the first-ever Concludings championship so many years ago. How much longer will the championship-starved fans in Salt Lake tolerate the losing?

10 (10) 75-83-4
Richmond lost out on the playoffs, but gained something even better: the Edgells welcomed baby #2 to the family Sunday night. Word on the street is she's a big body, and may get the start at PF next week if KG doesn't get his act together.

11 (11) 68-89-5
St. George broke the streak of "tote-bag winners one year, Concludings participants the next". Was it so long ago that everyone's favorite cartoon dog struck so much fear in the hearts of opponents?


12 (12) 65-93-4
Bayside won only one conference series all season, losing the other nine. That victory? 5-4 over New York in Week 2. To add insult to New York's injury, if Chris Bosh would have had one fewer turnover on Sunday against the Jai-Rai, the Kings would be in the postseason. Now, who said Bayside doesn't care?


Don't forget to vote on the Games of the Week and Week 19's EBP!