Week 6 Power Rankings

Athletes We Have Heard on High

This Week's Game of the Week features a couple of unusual suspects with identical records, and should be a doozy: Top-ranked Rigby—second in the Wasatch—faces off against third-ranked Richmond—second in the World.

It's that time of year, when the world falls in love. When overeating and overspending are not only countenanced, they're encouraged. That magical time when our hope is renewed, if only for a season, that perhaps this year we CAN buy happiness. Yes, it's Christmastime in the city. And nobody knows how to celebrate Christmas, and market their celebration, like the WFBL. So just in time for the holidays, the WFBL proudly announces the release of its first Christmas album on the Power Rankings label: "Athletes We Have Heard on High," available now wherever fine music performed by basketball players is sold. Get yours today! But first, read this list of tracks, which have been arranged to correspond with this week's Power Rankings:


Team, Rank, (Previous), Record

1 (1) 29-24-1
"Good King WenceJames," performed by Redickulous. In this spirited setting of an old favorite, Good King WenceJames looks down on that bitter cold Feast of Stephen from his cozy castle and sees ... the rest of the league. And unlike Wenceslas in the traditional version, he feels no need to descend to bring flesh and wine for yonder peasants.

2 (2) 29-23-2
"Whence Is That Goodly Fragrance Flowing?" arranged for glockenspiel by Manu Ginobili, who says the inspiration for this piece came from the new air freshener that teammate Tim Duncan bought for the Gators locker room.


3 (3) 29-22-3
"Himno Nacional de Venezeula," performed by the Hugo Chavez Chorale; Hugo Chavez, director. Some would argue that this is not a Christmas hymn, but doing so would be unwise. Really, is this anthem ever out of season? We say no.

3 (4) 29-24-1
"It's a Carmelo World in the Winter," vocal duet by Kevin Garnett (tenor) and Marcus Camby (mezzo-soprano), dedicated to Carmelo Anthony's 81 points in last week's 6-3 romp over Bayside. Check out the bonus DVD for a music video version, with KG and Camby displaying their dance moves in matching winter ensembles with realistic-looking snowscapes in the background.

5 (7) 28-25-1

"Nutcracker Suite," performed by the Park City Sundancers Concert Band, recorded live at the world premiere of Robert Redford's adaptation of this beloved ballet for the Sundancer Repertory Dance Company, featuring Kevin Durant as Clara, Stephen Curry as the Mouse King, Dwyane Wade as the Sugar Plum Fairy, and Andrea Bargnani as the Russian guy who does the really cool Trepak dance (you know, the one where you squat down and cross your arms and kick your legs and stuff).

6 (5) 28-24-2
"O Come, O Come, Chris Paul, You're Swell" a well-known Advent piece sung by Luke Ridnour and Lou Williams, with backup vocals by the nurses at the Hopital de Sierre near Zermatt, Switzerland.

7 (6) 27-27-0
"International Medley: Un flambeau, Jeanette, Isabella / Feliz Navidad / Christmas in Killarney," a musical tour de force by Jai-Rai heartthrob Kobe Bryant. You knew he was versatile on the basketball court--now hear him showcase his linguistic versatility as he croons in French, Spanish, and English with an Irish accent.

8 (9) 24-28-2
"Joy to the World Conference," a song the whole conference can enjoy (except Zermatt), as the Kings just handed the A-Boms an unprecedented second straight loss, leaving the Commissioner's team only two games away from missing the playoffs! Let the Consolation Bracket prepare them room!

9 (8) 22-29-3
"I Wonder as I Wander," in which jazz stylist Baron Davis reveals his soulful side. Among the things he wonders as he wanders: why do they call me a point guard when I got the same number of assists last week as Marcus Camby (10)?


10 (10) 24-29-1
"All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Frontcourt Players to Make Some of Their Stupid Free Throws Once in a While," banjo solo by Truman Barnes, featuring Kanye West. It's really hard to get in the Christmas spirit when your two bigs (Dwight Howard and Andersen Varejao) together shoot about 58% from the line.

11 (10) 24-29-1
"Silent Night," 48 minutes of silence, recorded inside the SnowHive at Mr. Mac Arena during a recent SnowBees game.

12 (12) 23-31-0
"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like 2007-08," performed by the Nephi Stratagem Show Choir and Madrigals. This oldie but goodie is a nostalgic trip down memory lane, as the Strats recall what it's like to be at the bottom of the league looking up.

Bonus track: "Tiresome Christmas Songs That for Some Reason Get Played on the Radio a Lot Even Though Nobody Likes Them (Medley): We Need a Little Christmas / Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time / Sir, I Wanna Buy These Shoes (for My Momma, Please)," performed by the WFBL kazoo and accordion ensemble; Phil Jackson, director.

Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments. And don't forget to vote on the Game of the Week and Week 1's EBP!

This Week in the WFBL—Week 6

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Leads Jai-Rai Lose Second-Straight, Despite End of Arenas' 3-Week Billboard Starvation Standoff

UDORN (AP)—Gilbert Arenas had had enough. And Jai-Rai management finally caved.

Udorn's mercurial point guard ended his hunger-strike stand-off with team owner Devin Jackson last week, finally getting the starting nod against Los Iguanas de Maracaibo in a key World Conference matchup. The appearance of the seldom-started Arenas wasn't enough to overcome the Igs, however, as the Jai-Rai lost 5-4.

Since Week 3, when he was benched for up-and-comer Russell Westbrook, Arenas has been defiantly camped on a billboard in downtown metropolitan Udorn, refusing to come down or eat anything until Jai-Rai brass realized their "grave misdeeds."

"We just beat the Butchers, and all of a sudden coach comes up to me and says they're gonna try somethin' different for a few weeks. I'm like 'what? I'm Gilbert Arenas, dang it!'" the former All-Star explained. "I'm back, baby! I'm healthy! They don't know who they dealing with."

From his lofty perch in front of a billboard outfitted with the saying "I'm Gilbert Arenas" and "Start Me Or Starve Me!", and armed with nothing more than a bullhorn and a sleeping bag, Arenas beckoned at passers-by to honk if they wanted him back in the lineup. The scheme seemed to be working during a Week 3 loss to Zermatt, but the groundswell died down after the Jai-Rai pummeled Nephi 8-1 thanks to solid play from Westbrook.

"Yeah, that was a tough week. But I had to hold my ground. I had to let them know that I wasn't joking around," said Arenas. "Do I look like the type of guy who'd joke around about something like this?"

Ultimately, management decided that the negative PR the team was getting far outweighed the benefits that could come from winning a stand-off with "Gasbag". A Week 5 loss to bottom-feeder New York may have had a little something to do with the change of heart, too.

"We respect Gilbert as a player and a person," said Jackson. "We learned a lot about each other over the past few weeks. I guess I underestimated the type of crazy I was getting involved with when I drafted him."

After the final horn sounded on the Jai-Rai's loss—their second series loss with Arenas running the point—Jackson's tune suddenly changed.

"It was good to have Gilby come down and play again. And you can definitely tell that his not eating for three weeks helped him lose some off-season weight, so it was really win-win for all of us. But I think it's back to billboard for you, Gilby."

Around the WFBL

Kings 5, Abominables 4

Sundancers 7, Stratagem 1, Everyone 1

Trojans 5, Underdogs 4

Gators 5, SnowBees 4

Butchers 6, Tigers 3

Week 6 Game of the Week Voting Results:

Los Iguanas de Maracaibo 5 (62%)

Udorn Jai-Rai 3 (37%)

Week 5 EBP:

Marcus Camby, Richmond—5 votes (62% of vote)

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Fun Facts: Dec 1-7, 2008

Gallon of gas: $1.81

Gallon of milk: $2.74

#1 Song: "Live Your Life"—T.I. ft. Rhianna

#1 Movie: "Four Christmases"

Each week, This Week in the WFBL looks back and shines a light on a moment in the WFBL's illustrious history. This week, we look at Week 6 from 2008 (Dec 1-7). Unlike this season, there was a clear divide in the WFBL between the contenders and the pretenders. In Week 6, two of the contenders met, with upstart Nephi taking on seemingly indestructible Park City in a Wasatch Conference showdown.

WEEK SIX, DEC 1-7, 2008

Strats Still Special Despite Success, Roy Claims


























KG and the Strats bounce Bosh and the 'Dancers from the unbeaten ranks.

NEPHI (AP)—Now the only remaining unbeaten team in the WFBL, the Nephi Strategem toppled the Park City Sundancers 6-2-1 this week, extending their now longest current winning streak to 7—if you feel good about counting their victory over Rigby in the 11th place game last year. The Strats can also now stake a claim to first place for the first time in franchise history, though they are finding out that winning is not all it is cracked up to be.

"Back when we used to lose, other teams would treat us like we were special," explained Brandon Roy. "Players and coaches would always be making a point to tell us how proud they were of us, that we even managed to field a team at all. Now that we're winning, the other teams don't quite know what to think. They look like they have been betrayed. Well, I'm here to tell you that we are still special, we're just winning now. Is there anything so wrong with that? Management is still perfectly willing to make ill-advised trades, as evidenced by the deal to ship Ron Artest to Richmond for Marquis Daniels this week. See? Still good ol' lovable Nephi."

Kevin Garnett interrupted, "But did they really need to include Udonis Haslem to sweeten an already lopsided trade?" Owner Justin Banks soon joined the discussion, "Hey, I've been wondering where Udonis has been. I think I might have misclicked on his name. I didn't mean to trade him—lol."

Roy is right about one thing, Nephi will always be special.

So what about Park City? How are they dealing with their first loss of the season? Owner Dave Barton was happy to oblige with a characteristically pompous answer. "Look, it's all part of our master plan. We decided that now was the best time to lose, so we didn't turn into some massive juggernaut that everyone is constantly gunning for. We all know how well that turned out for St. George last year. So all of you that were wondering why Mo only dished 6 assists, or what the story behind our sudden dive in free throw percentage Saturday night was, now you know. Yes, soon we will..."

Barton, who didn't get the memo that James Bond analogies are so 3 weeks ago, trailed off and paused before continuing, "You know, I really need to get better at not explaining away my machinations to the whole league, so I'm just gonna stop myself right there. Sometimes I'm just so proud of my ingenuity that I want to share. Maybe next week I will take a cue from Auric Goldfinger by inviting all you media types to my rumpus room for postgame interviews. That way I can have the satisfaction of getting to explain my elaborate plot in great detail before I gas you all to death. Who's in? Wait... I just did it again, didn't I?"

The Strats continued to surprise the league, winning their next three series. But ultimately, their inexperience in the limelight caught up with them, as they stumbled down the stretch, missing out on the regular season conference title and ultimately bowing to Twin Falls in the first round of the Playoffs. Meanwhile, Park City's evil plot to control the league was foiled by their arch-nemesis Zermatt, in the 2009 Concludings.

Week 5 Power Rankings

Let's Go Streaking!

Why is this the game of the week? Because it's the only matchup where both teams are over .500. It's as simple as that. The 2009-10 season—where mediocrity happens..

You may have noticed that the WFBL is a little—what's the word—disjointed this year. You win big one week, chances are you're gonna get taken apart the next. Since no team has won or lost more than three in a row, we've had to dig a little deeper to see what sorts of streaks are happening around the league.

Team, Rank, (Previous), Record

1 (3) 24-20-1
Current win streak: 2. Rigby holds not only the longest, but the only active win streak in the league after thumping the Kings and Strats. And for that they become the 4th team in 6 weeks to occupy the #1 spot.


2 (6) 24-19-2
Weeks without a complaint: 5. Notoriously combative owner Shaun Adams has kept quiet since his Gators were ranked #9 to start the season. Getting dropped to #6 last week failed to inspire even mild grumbling. What is going on this year? Up is down. Black is white.

3 (7) 24-18-3
Seasons off to a strong start: 5. The Iguanas have once again started the season in a sprint (kinda), and find themselves on top of the standings. But you know how it goes, Chavez forces Ray Allen to date his niece, Ray Ray loses his shooting touch, and the whole season collapses come playoff time.

4 (11) 23-21-1
Players in the week 5 EBP race: 2. Carmelo lit up the offensive end and Camby dominated the defensive end against shorthanded Zermatt. You just try to pick between them.


5 (1) 24-19-2
Weeks with a key injury: 5. The latest casualty is Lou Williams. Rumor has it the Commish was considering picking up injured free agent Mike Miller—a member of last year's championship team—until he realized he already had enough roster spots reserved for dead weight.

6 (4) 23-22-0
Offers for Brandon Jennings rejected: 17. Udorn really lucked out when they snagged the rookie phenom with their final draft pick. And their reward? Sorting through all manner of asinine trade offers like "How about my prized collection of pogs for Jennings?"

7 (5) 21-24-0

Weeks without a true point guard: 33. This one goes all the way back to the 07-08 season, when Jose Calderon made his surprise emergence. Since then the 'Dancers have trotted out the likes of Nate Robinson, Randy Foye and Will Bynum among others. Boy, that Brandon Jennings sure would come in handy.

8 (2) 19-23-3
Weeks without a free agent acquisition: 0. What's this? Bayside owner Rich Lachowsky broke his long standing inactivity on the waiver wire last week by picking up Marreese Speights, who happens to be out with a knee injury until after the new year. Ah, Bayside.

9 (12) 19-24-2
Years without a championship: 3 (and mostly likely 4). Somewhere there is a 3 1/2 year old Kings fan with a squash-stained Triceratops onesie packed away in a diaper box on top of his closet shelf that has never gotten to experience a Concludings victory. What does this have to do with anything? Don't ask.


10 (8) 20-24-1
Current unbeaten streak: 3. While it is true that Rigby is the only team with an active win streak, St. George actually hasn't lost since week 2 after tying Salt Lake. And for that they get moved down two spots.


10 (9) 20-24-1
Weeks with a healthy starting lineup: 1. The good news? Pau and Gordon are finally both ready for week 6. The bad news? There is *almost* nowhere for the SnowBees to go but up.

12 (10) 21-24-0
Weeks since Nephi was ranked #2 by this humble committee: 2. Boy, that seems like a long time ago. Dropping 14 out of 18 categories will do that to you.

So what do you think? Your team ranked too high? Too low? Who's overrated? Underrated? Let the Power Rankings know in the comments! And don't forget to vote on the Game of the Week and Week 1's EBP!