Week 8 Power Rankings

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Dishin' It Out: Holiday Catering from the WFBL

Last week's Game of the Week featured 1 vs. 2, and that's cool and everything. But THIS week's matchup has two reptile-themed teams facing off. Name another professional sports league where that happens EVER! Now all it needs is a cool nickname like the Spud State Showdown got. Some possibilities that come immediately to mind include "The Cold-Blooded Brawl" or "The Crocodilia Contest" or "The Reptilia Rumble."

It's just a few days before Christmas; you're enjoying some well-deserved time off--perhaps you are watching one of your 30 or 40 favorite college football bowl games, such as the Les Olson Copy Machine Bowl Presented by Fisher Price, featuring an intriguing matchup between Middle Tennessee State and Central Tennessee A&M—when all of a sudden, your wife reminds you that 72 of her relatives are coming over for dinner in less than half an hour, and you (being the sensitive, enlightened husband that you are), agreed to cook tonight. What are you going to do? The same thing you always do in emergencies like this: you're going to think to yourself, "Can the WFBL help me in this situation?" and "Would I be willing to pay money for such help?"

Well, the answer of course is yes, the WFBL can help, and yes, you will be expected to pay. All you have to do is pick up the phone and call Dishin' It Out, the new holiday catering arm of the WFBL, featuring culinary delights (see menu below) prepared and served by your favorite WFBL players, all for the low, low price of $2,799.95, which, considering how desperate you are, is very reasonable.


Team, Rank, (Previous), Record

1 (2) 39-29-4
"Uncle Tim's Christmas Stuffing. An original recipe from Gators big man Tim Duncan. Coincidentally, Uncle Tim did a lot of "stuffing" of the Rigby Trojans last week, blocking 10 shots to help his team to a 5-3-1 victory. So, as you can see, it's appropriate that Duncan would provide the stuffing. Almost as if it was planned that way.

2 (1) 38-32-2
Uncle Brook's Thick 'n' Chunky Turkey Gravy. Guaranteed to stick to your ribs like one of Brook Lopez's elbows.


3 (5) 37-34-1
Uncle Melo's Frosted Snowballs. Mini cream-filled cakes prepared by Carmelo Anthony. That white, powdery substance covering the cakes? Why, that's powdered sugar, of course! What did you think it was?

4 (6) 35-34-3
Uncle Dwight's Tangy Meatballs. Served in person by U-Dog center Dwight Howard, who will stand 15 feet away from your guest's table and attempt to toss the meatballs onto his or her plate. If he misses, he'll get his own rebound (usually before the meatball touches the floor), and attempt a higher-percentage shot, such as a slam dunk or a layup off your guest's chest.

5 (7) 36-34-2
Uncle Chris's Iguana Stew. After the way A-Bom guard Chris Paul carved up Maracaibo last week (76 points, 54 assists, 8 steals, perfect free-throwing), there was plenty of Iguana meat available for this popular dish. Served with Saltine crackers that Paul saved during his recent several-week hospital stay.

6 (3) 37-31-4
Tio Hugo's Loyalty Mush. Despite the current economic crisis and the need to conserve resources for essential military endeavors, the benevolent dictator and supreme ruler (long may he reign) Hugo Chavez has graciously made three kilos of cornmeal available for your Christmas feast, to be mixed with water and rationed equally among your guests. We will all partake with grateful hearts, proud to be thus supporting the glorious cause of the State.

7 (8) 36-36-0
Uncle Kobe's Roast Tiger. Kobe Bryant, who plays for the Jai-Rai but is really bigger than any one team, prepared this entree during last week's slaughter of Bayside. He did it, by the way, while nursing a broken finger and an itch on his nose. He's sooo dreamy! He also had flu-like symptoms all week. But don't worry: he remembered to cough into his elbow.

8 (9) 36-35-1
Uncle Pau's Kung Pao Chicken. Prepared exclusively with Pampered Chef cutlery (including the new Bamboo Knife Block Set, only $415.00) and cookware (such as the Large Micro-cooker®, $10.50) and served on Medium Square Plates with Cranberry Accent ($34.00 for a set of two). For more information, please contact Pau Gasol, Pampered Chef Consultant. "Discover the Chef in You."

9 (4) 35-35-2

Uncle Stephen's Curry Chicken, served with Uncle Kevin's Currant Sauce. Here's hoping that Uncle Stephen and Uncle Kevin's cooking skills are better than their combined assist-to-turnover ratio against St. George last week (an unsavory 0.9).

10 (11) 32-37-3
Uncle Steve's "Nashed" Potatoes. For an additional $500, Kings guard Steve Nash will demonstrate how he uses his bare feet to mash the potatoes, which were carefully selected to resemble the faces of point guards of opposing teams.

11 (10) 31-40-1
Tio Luis's Hot 'n' Spicy Hot Cocoa. Strats forward Luis Scola presents an old family recipe from his native Spanish-speaking country. As everybody knows, people who speak Spanish put jalapeno peppers in everything. That's why they talk so fast.

12 (12) 28-41-3
Uncle Baron's Flatbread Cookies. As flat as Baron Davis's jumpers, which in last week's 3-6 loss to Udorn missed about 66% of the time. Oh, and another way flatbread is like Baron's shot: both are often stuffed.

What's your favorite WFBL dish? Let us know in the comments. And don't forget to vote on the Game of the Week and Week 8's EBP!