This Week in the WFBL: Week 1

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League's Historic Fifth Season Underway; 'Dancers Exact Revenge on A-Boms; Other Less-Important Games Played

It might be a few weeks before Al Jefferson is monster mashing at full strength.

ZERMATT (AP)—Those geniuses in the WFBL's schedule-making department have done it again. How else should the league kick off its commemorative fifth season but with the Zermatt Abominables and Park City Sundancers squaring off in an epic rematch of last year's Concludings, not to mention the first leg of the hallowed Ski-Town Skirmish? Kings/SnowBees? No thanks.

Prior to tipoff, Zermatt handed out rings and raised their second championship banner as part of an over-the-top ceremony that was brimming with flash, bam and alacazam—all while their vanquished rivals looked on. But after enduring the most brazen display of ego since Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction speech, the Sundancers earned a small measure of revenge, holding off the Abominables for the 5-4 victory.

Park City also took their first step in defending the Oaken Skis of Yore—the token of regular season superiority between the two fierce rivals—thanks in large part to the contributions of newcomer Chris Kaman. For those who don't remember (heaven forbid), ye olde skis currently reside in Park City after the Sundancers edged the Abominables 5-4 in their lone regular season matchup last year. But since the rivals meet twice this year, the fate of the skis won't be decided until week 15 in Park City.

Though Park City has now beaten Zermatt in 4 of their last 5 meetings (the "minor" blemish being that pesky Concludings loss), 81% of voters still favored the mystique of the back-to-back champs in the game of the week. "It may be a well-worn cliché," observed Kaman, "but this truly was a case of no one believing in the Sundancers."

What those ill-informed voters failed to take into account was a lingering achilles injury sustained by Al Jefferson during the team's vigorous Halloween dance rehearsals. Plus, Zermatt was left further shorthanded by injured starter Antawn Jamison (shoulder subluxation) and his replacement, Jason Richardson, who was issued a two-game suspension for an offseason DUI after weekly lineups had already been submitted. Rumor is that Commissioner Barnes was too busy overseeing the aforementioned dance rehearsals to preside at the league disciplinary meeting where it was decided to suspend Richardson.

Still, as it always seems to happen when these two teams meet, the outcome was in doubt until the final seconds of the final day. As Park City's field goal percentage precipitously plummeted thanks to a putrid 3-21 shooting performance from Kevin Durant, Zermatt and reigning league EBP Chris Paul quietly closed the gap in other categories. When the final horn sounded, the Abominables were a mere two assists shy of an improbable victory.

Coming into this season brimming with confidence, some in the Zermatt camp were brashly predicting going undefeated—to not lose a single matchup all year. Well, they can cross that one off their to-do list. If their hard luck opening week is any indication, this could be the year that the A-Boms' patented magic finally runs out.

Around the WFBL

Kings 6, SnowBees 3

Gators 6, Jai-Rai 3

Tigers 5, Trojans 4

Butchers 6, Underdogs 3

Stratagem 6, Iguanas 3

Week 1 Game of the Week Voting Results:

Zermatt Abominables 9 (81%)

Park City Sundancers 2 (18%)

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Fun Facts: Oct 31-Nov 5, 2006

Gallon of gas: $2.18

Gallon of milk: $1.99

#1 Song: "My Love"—Justin Timberlake ft. T.I.

#1 Movie: "Borat"

Each week, This Week in the WFBL looks back and shines a light on a moment in the WFBL's illustrious history. This week, we look at Week 1 from 2006 (Oct 31-Nov 5). The League had just expanded from 4 to 10 teams, and the Bayside Tigers were unknowingly making their first step towards an unlikely championship by defeating the expansion Indiana Sand Dunes (now the Richmond Butchers).

WEEK ONE, OCT 31-NOV 5, 2006

Sand Dunes Embarrassed in Season Opener, but Ron-Ron's Album Is Tight, Yo

FRENCH LICK (AP)—One week into their first season, and the Indiana Sand Dunes have already begun to test team mother Regan Barnes's mantra: "It's not whether you win or lose; it's how you play the game."

In falling 6-3 to the lowly Bayside Tigers, the Sand Dunes neither won nor played particularly well, leaving everyone at a loss as to how to feel about the team. The postgame press conference featured a lot of shrugs and head-scratching.

"I think we all wish we'd played better," said forward Dwight Howard, who contributed a so-so free-throw percentage (66.7%) and more than his share of turnovers (15) to the effort. "But it's not because we wanted to win, necessarily. We just wanted to play well, I guess, for it's own sake."

"The ideal scenario for us, I think, would be for everyone to have a great game and then maybe the other team plays even better and we lose . . . or maybe we all about play the same and we just tie . . . ?" added center Chris Bosh, his voice trailing as he began to realize how strange it all sounds. "I don't know. Coach understands it. Maybe you should talk to her."

Barnes, for her part, was roundly criticized for continuing to run plays for Ron "DJ Funky Dunk" Artest, even though he kept missing shots and ended up shooting 28.3% from the field. "We wanted him to get a chance to get some makes. You know, nobody likes to miss, and we want him to feel good about himself. Dwight and Christopher already had a lot of makes, so I told them to make sure Ronnie gets plenty of turns."

It's possible "Ronnie" was a bit preoccupied with the recent release of his rap CD, "My World," copies of which Artest generously handed out to eager members of the media after the game.

The album achieves an eclectic mix of new street rap and plenty of nods to the traditional rap masters like Vanilla Ice and Shaquille O'Neal. The title track shows off Artest's lyric genius with lines like:

"My name is Ron-Ron,

And I'm here to say,

I love making baskets

n a major way."

Fans of Ron-Ron's earlier work will recognize his signature angst in many of the tracks, including "Your Face Is Part of the Ball," "Flagrant Foul (Remix)," and "Don't You Pull on My Jersey (While I'm Boxing You Out)." But he also shows a new, more sensitive side in the soulful "Please, Coach, No More Wind Sprints" and "Collective Bargaining, What Have You Done to Me?"

"My World" is available in fine music stores everywhere under the WFBL label.

Bayside, however, could not be happier with their "worst-to third" turnaround from last year. A delighted coach Richard Belding, along with assistants Zack Morris and AC Slater, met with the press after their victory.

"We really owe a lot of this to Mr. Slater," said a beaming Belding. "His previous history of playing not only on the basketball team, but on the wrestling and football teams has given us a big boost, as far as game-experience goes. He always seemed to win back then and he's helping us win now."

"Let's not forget Preppy," Slater reminded, referring to Morris. "He was always great at track, and pretty much any competition he enters, he wins."

So far, the early-season promise of owner Rich Lachowksy is turning out to be more than just delusions of grandeur, as the Tigers, last-place in the preseason power rankings, are trying to shed their image of league whipping-boys.

"This year is different," said forward Tracy McGrady, one of the few holdovers from last year's last-place team. "There is definitely a new attitude here. I can't tell you all how happy I am to be on this team. Everything is perfect exactly the way it is right now."

McGrady would shortly thereafter be traded to the expansion Zermatt Abominables for Luke Ridnour. The Abominables, in the first of many shrewd managerial moves, would later trade McGrady for Chris Bosh, paving the way for an A-Bom/Tigers Concludings match-up.