This Week in the WFBL: Week 2

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Rigby's Victory Over Park City in Haiku, As Performed by Redickulous

You had no idea J.J. Redick was an accomplished poet, did you? But you probably knew LeBron could wail on the guitar. He's the King.

RIGBY (Jefferson Star)—It had been hours since the Rigby Trojans had polished off their 5-4 victory over top-ranked Park City, but no one was sleeping at the Rigby Library.

The conquering Trojans had just flown back into town and were assembled for what they hope is the first of many victory performances by their jazz/spoken word band Redickulous.

"I'd like to thank you all for being here tonight," said a hushed J.J. "Johnny Jam" Redick, lead spoken wordsman of Redickulous, to a crowd of approximately a dozen. "Let me introduce the band to you. On my right, playing guitar, is LeBron "Sweet Baby" James. And to my left is Carlos "Neato Carlito" Boozer. He'll be helping with background vocals.

"I've prepared a few haikus that express my feelings on our latest series, which I was able to take part in thanks to being the backup to the fragile Vince Carter. Thank you."

Lost six in a row
Now the winners of one straight
Your Rigby Trojans

(Neato Carlito screams a guttural "EH MON!")

Wind blows hard here
In Rigby, but not as hard
As Channing Frye does

(Sweet Baby James takes a screaming 1 minute solo for emphasis)

Hey Sundancers, don't
You know, Dwyane Wade is good but
He's no Chris Duhon

(Neato Carlito bellows out "DOOOOOOO-HAHNNNN!)

The sons of Rigby
Wait for the sweet day when the
Concludings is ours

(Crowd snaps fingers as Redickulous takes their bows)

Around the WFBL

Abominables 6, Tigers 2, Everyone 1

SnowBees 5, Stratagem 4

Gators 7, Underdogs 1, Everyone 1

Jai-Rai 5, Butchers 4

Iguanas 5, Kings 2, Everyone 2

Week 2 Game of the Week Voting Results:

Rigby Trojans (75%)

Park City Sundancers 2 (25%)

Week 1 EBP:

Carmelo Anthony, Richmond—7 votes (50% of vote)

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Fun Facts: Nov 5-Nov 11, 2007

Gallon of gas: $3.01

Gallon of milk: $3.59

#1 Song: "Kiss Kiss"—Chris Brown ft. T-Pain

#1 Movie: "Bee Movie"

Each week, This Week in the WFBL looks back and shines a light on a moment in the WFBL's illustrious history. This week, we look at Week 2 from 2007 (Nov 5-11). The League was still reeling from Bayside's lopsided Concludings victory from the previous season, and adjusting to the addition of two new teams. Newcomer Justin Banks and the Nephi Stratagem, led by future two-time Concludings champion and League EBP Chris Paul, were outfoxed by the Zermatt Abominables, led by the not-yet-injured Yao Ming.

WEEK TWO, NOV 5-11, 2007

An Account of the Wars and Contentions Between the Inhabitants of Nephi and the Great Abomination from the Land of Zermatt

NEPHI (AP)—1. Now it came to pass that in the commencement of the second week of first year of the reign of the Tigers, the people of Nephi did do battle with the Great Abomination of Zermatt. And lo, the battle was fierce, insomuch that the people of Nephi did take up arms against the Great Abomination of Zermatt.

2. Therefore, the Great Abomination did attack the people of Nephi with blocked shots and three-pointers made; and the name of the man who did lead the Abomination was Yao Ming. And Yao did average a double-double, while keeping his turnovers to a relatively low number.

3. But behold, the inhabitants of the land of Nephi, led by their captain, Chris Paul, did fight a great fight, shooting a high field goal percentage and sharing the ball one with another.

4. But it came to pass that with this success, much pride did enter into the hearts of the people of Nephi, which did lead to much iniquity amongst themselves, yea, because of dissensions and intrigue among themselves they were placed in the most dangerous circumstances, which did lead to but few rebounds and a sore amount of turnovers.

5. Therefore, the Great Abomination from the land of Zermatt did conquer those from the land of Nephi, and did take them captive, yea, and did take control of the city of Nephi, by the score of 5-4.

6. And thus ended the second week of the second year of the reign of the Tigers over the people of the WFBL.

This would be the last time Paul would play as an opponent to the Abominables. Later that season, the Strats would trade Paul to Zermatt for Yao, and the rest is, as they say, this week in WFBL history.