Where we sort through Week 1's bag of goodies.
Can LeBron and the Trojans bounce back from their heartbreaking Week 1 loss and topple Dwyane Wade and the mighty Sundancers?
Every year on Halloween night, the little children of the WFBL—dressed up like little Gators, Tigers, Snake-Wielding Monkeys, and pretty little Sundancers—timidly climb the rickety steps of the spooky home of Old Man Power Rankings and knock on the door. What treat awaits them behind that door? Well, that depends on how well they performed during Week 1.
Team, Rank, (Previous), Record
1 (3) 5-4-0 For their hard-fought 5-4 victory over Zermatt, the Sundancers get a larger-than-life-size York Peppermint Patty, biting into which gives them the sensation of skiing down an Alpine slope, wearing those Oaken Skis of Yore and shouting, "You stink, A-Boms!"
2 (5) 6-3-0
When the Richmond Butchers arrived at Old Man Power Rankings's house, they found a large bowl of candy outside the door and a sign that said "Take One," but no indication whether that meant one candy or one bowl, so taking advantage of the ambiguity, they took the bowl--much like the way the the opportunistic Butchers took advantage of short-handed St. George in Week 1.
3 (7) 5-4-0
For their gritty 5-4 win over LeBron James and the Trojans, the Bayside Tigers get some homemade fudge that probably sat on the stove a little too long, so it kind of grits against your teeth, but it still tastes pretty good.
4 (9) 6-3-0
Not only did the Twin Falls Gators storm into Udorn and stomp on the Jai-Rai, they also plundered the entire nation's rice crop to make the world's biggest Nestle Crunch Bar.
5 (1) 4-5-0
Considering all of the health issues the A-boms have had so far this year, maybe the best thing would be not to give them candy at all but instead a nice healthy apple. Just be sure to wash it really good when you get home, and have Mom or Dad cut it into pieces to make sure there's no razor blades or syringes hidden inside.
6 (2) 4-5-0
When the Rigby Trojans arrived at the door after their sorry performance against lowly Bayside, they got Snickers--and I don't mean the candy bar; I mean derisive laughter from Old Man Power Rankings.
7 (4) 3-6-0
Those snake-charming primates get 38 Butterfinger bars to commemorate their 38 turnovers, one of the six categories they lost to the Gators in Week 1.
8 (12) 6-3-0
Guard Brandon Roy earned his Stratagem teammates 49 candy whistles, one for each of Roy's staggering 49 trips to the free throw line.
9 (11) 6-3-0
The Kings get 23 king-size Three Musketeers bars, one for each of the three-pointers they made on their way to a 6-3 pounding of Salt Lake.
10 (6) 3-6-0
By the time the SnowBees showed up at Old Man Power Rankings's house, all of the candy was gone, but the Old Man did find a nice Saltine cracker! (Smell my feet, Power Rankings!)
11 (8) 3-6-0
The Iguanas remind one of a Tootsie Roll Pop: tough on the outside (Ray Allen, Chauncey Billups) but nice and soft in the middle (Andris Biedrins).
12 (10) 3-6-0
The U-Dogs get a dum-dum for J. R. Smith's dumb decision to drink and then drive, earning himself a seven-game suspension and costing his team a Week 1 victory. The dum-dum flavor? Butter rum, of course!
So what do you think? Your team ranked too high? Too low? Who's overrated? Underrated? Let the Power Rankings know in the comments! And don't forget to vote on the Game of the Week and Week 1's EBP!
Can LeBron and the Trojans bounce back from their heartbreaking Week 1 loss and topple Dwyane Wade and the mighty Sundancers?
Every year on Halloween night, the little children of the WFBL—dressed up like little Gators, Tigers, Snake-Wielding Monkeys, and pretty little Sundancers—timidly climb the rickety steps of the spooky home of Old Man Power Rankings and knock on the door. What treat awaits them behind that door? Well, that depends on how well they performed during Week 1.
Team, Rank, (Previous), Record
1 (3) 5-4-0 
2 (5) 6-3-0When the Richmond Butchers arrived at Old Man Power Rankings's house, they found a large bowl of candy outside the door and a sign that said "Take One," but no indication whether that meant one candy or one bowl, so taking advantage of the ambiguity, they took the bowl--much like the way the the opportunistic Butchers took advantage of short-handed St. George in Week 1.
3 (7) 5-4-0For their gritty 5-4 win over LeBron James and the Trojans, the Bayside Tigers get some homemade fudge that probably sat on the stove a little too long, so it kind of grits against your teeth, but it still tastes pretty good.
4 (9) 6-3-0Not only did the Twin Falls Gators storm into Udorn and stomp on the Jai-Rai, they also plundered the entire nation's rice crop to make the world's biggest Nestle Crunch Bar.
5 (1) 4-5-0Considering all of the health issues the A-boms have had so far this year, maybe the best thing would be not to give them candy at all but instead a nice healthy apple. Just be sure to wash it really good when you get home, and have Mom or Dad cut it into pieces to make sure there's no razor blades or syringes hidden inside.
6 (2) 4-5-0When the Rigby Trojans arrived at the door after their sorry performance against lowly Bayside, they got Snickers--and I don't mean the candy bar; I mean derisive laughter from Old Man Power Rankings.
7 (4) 3-6-0Those snake-charming primates get 38 Butterfinger bars to commemorate their 38 turnovers, one of the six categories they lost to the Gators in Week 1.
8 (12) 6-3-0Guard Brandon Roy earned his Stratagem teammates 49 candy whistles, one for each of Roy's staggering 49 trips to the free throw line.
9 (11) 6-3-0The Kings get 23 king-size Three Musketeers bars, one for each of the three-pointers they made on their way to a 6-3 pounding of Salt Lake.
10 (6) 3-6-0By the time the SnowBees showed up at Old Man Power Rankings's house, all of the candy was gone, but the Old Man did find a nice Saltine cracker! (Smell my feet, Power Rankings!)
11 (8) 3-6-0The Iguanas remind one of a Tootsie Roll Pop: tough on the outside (Ray Allen, Chauncey Billups) but nice and soft in the middle (Andris Biedrins).
12 (10) 3-6-0The U-Dogs get a dum-dum for J. R. Smith's dumb decision to drink and then drive, earning himself a seven-game suspension and costing his team a Week 1 victory. The dum-dum flavor? Butter rum, of course!
So what do you think? Your team ranked too high? Too low? Who's overrated? Underrated? Let the Power Rankings know in the comments! And don't forget to vote on the Game of the Week and Week 1's EBP!
I don't get the projected record part. Is that what they were projected to do last week or what they're projected to do this week? Would it be better to put their actual record there instead?
ReplyDeleteWhatever are you talking about? ;)
ReplyDeleteSad day....this is the lowest the Igs have ever been in the Power Rankings (sniff sniff!)
ReplyDeleteThe Gators are content.
ReplyDeleteThe 'Dancers in first means we are going down this week. The old Power Rankings Curse never fails.
ReplyDeleteDave, why do the Sundancers never get any love in the Game of the Week voting?
ReplyDelete