Week 3 Power Rankings

This Week's Power Rankings—Half Price to Whomever Leaves A Comment!

Hibbert! Landry! Williams! Barbosa! Bogut! It's the WFBL Game of the Week! See if a patchwork Chris Paul-less Zermatt lineup can take down a surprising Salt Lake team still without Gasol and Eric Gordon! It's Big Brother vs Little Brother! Exclamation point!

In these difficult economic times, many lesser sports leagues are resorting to gimmicky promotional events to attract fans and increase revenue. While the WFBL is above those sports leagues in virtually every way, it's not above increasing revenue, even if it means sacrificing the dignity of the game. So this week the Power Rankings suggests promotional gimmicks for each team's next home game. And the first 5,000 fans to read these Power Rankings will receive a free license plate cover that says "My WFBL Team Is Ranked Higher Than Yours" (offer not valid in New York).


Team, Rank, (Previous), Record

1 (2) 16-10-1
"Starting at Point Guard...YOU!" Night. One lucky fan will be chosen at random to replace injured Chris Paul in the starting lineup against the Salt Lake SnowBees.

2 (10) 17-10-0
"Alligator Shoe" Night. The first 5,000 fans will receive a free pair of alligator shoes to commemorate of Nephi's 7-2 skinning of the Twin Falls Gators last week.

3 (9) 14-11-2
"Meet the Dictator" Night. Iguanas superfan Hugo Chavez will personally collect tickets at the door of the arena. He will then, in true socialist style, "redistribute" the seating assignments, giving floor-level seats to those who paid for upper-bowl tickets, and vice versa. And nobody had better complain.


4 (1) 15-11-1
"Democracy Rules" Night. At key moments in the game, owner Shaun Adams will turn the play calling over to fans, who will be invited to text in the play they think the Gators should run—a pick-and-roll for Odom? a post up for Duncan? isolation for O. J. Mayo? that cool weave thing the Globetrotters do?


5 (8) 13-14-0
"Pau Gasol Look-Alike" Night. Fans will be allowed to enter the arena only if they are dressed up like Pau Gasol. The fan who has the best likeness will be allowed to enter the locker room after the game and give Gasol's hamstring a massage.



6 (7) 12-14-1
"Coach for a Day" Night. One lucky fan will be chosen at random to fill that empty coach's seat on the Bayside bench. If all goes well, he or she may be asked to sit there permanently.

7 (4) 13-14-0

"Exorcism" Night. The Sundancers appear to have sold their soul to the devil in exchange for the opening-week win over Zermatt; since then they've lost two straight against beatable opponents. So at halftime of an upcoming game, religious leaders from various local churches will participate in a non-denominational exorcism to see if they can't renegotiate the deal.


8 (3) 11-15-1
"Music Appreciation" Night. Singing sensation Redickulous will perform the national anthem, along with "YMCA" and "Here We Go Trojans, Here We Go" and "DEE-FENCE!" at various points throughout the game.

9 (5) 11-16-0
"Mamba-Jennings Showdown" Night. At halftime, starting guard Kobe Bryant and supersub Brandon Jennings will go one-on-one. If Jennings wins, he gets Kobe's nickname and all of his shoe contracts. If Mamba wins, he agrees to leave the Jai-Rai and play the rest of the season for Jennings's former Italian club, Lottomatica Roma.

10 (12) 10-15-2
"Your Life Is in Dwight Howard's Hands" Night. Before the game, bombs will be placed throughout Super Vitamin Pill Arena, and whenever Dwight Howard goes to the line for a free throw, a deactivation device will be placed inside the hoop. If Howard makes a free throw, the bombs are disabled, and everyone lives. If he doesn't, well....Doesn't that sound exciting?

11 (6) 13-14-0
"Say No to Drugs" Night. As fans enter the arena, they will be checked for drug paraphernalia, and they will only be allowed to enter if they have a good excuse (such as, "I'm just carrying it for my cousin.") During halftime one lucky school will be chosen at random to have Kevin Garnett visit and give a motivational anti-drugs presentation. If KG can't make it, though, Carmelo Anthony has offered to fill in for him.

12 (11) 12-13-2
"Tread on Us" Night. The first 5,000 fans will get a New York Kings doormat with the likeness of their favorite/least favorite Kings player sewn into it.

So what do you think? Your team ranked too high? Too low? Who's overrated? Underrated? Let the Power Rankings know in the comments! And don't forget to vote on the Game of the Week and Week 1's EBP!