Durant, 'Dancers Top Trojans With Points, Poetry
If you're impressed with Kevin Durant's limericks, you should check out his tweets.
PARK CITY (AP)—Any Sundancer will tell you that one of the most frustrating things about this season has been losing close games they could have won. For Kevin Durant, their 5-4 loss to Rigby in Week 2 was especially hard to take.
"After losing such a close one, then having to hear all the hype about crappy Redickulous... I just grabbed my pen and paper. You know, I'm only truly happy when I'm writing poetry."
So, after avenging that early season loss with a 5-4 win over Rigby this week, it was only fitting that the whole team assembled at Robert Redford's private lodge for a special reading from Durant. It went a little something like this:
There once was a team from Rigby
Who hosted the squad from Park City
They started Redick and Duhon
While Boozer said "EH MON!"
And they pulled out the 5 to 4 vict'ry
Well the 'Dancers didn't take too kindly
To being put into rhymes so slightly
They looked ahead to week ten
When they could play them again
And beat those Trojans outrightly
The 'Dancers were led by Durant and Wade
While LeBron fronted the Trojan parade
40 from Durant was sure great
Until LeBron said: "How about 48?"
As the crowd looked on dismayed
Durant and LeBron traded blow for blow
Exchanging the lead to and fro
Rigby struggled hitting a three
But Park City said: "Here's the ball for free"
'Til it came down to the last whistle blow
In the final moments the Dancers led 5-4
LeBron said: "The ball once more!"
But when he clanked the winning three
The crowd chanted: "Durant for EBP!"
And the Trojans were shown the door
Week 10 Game of the Week Voting Results:
Rigby Trojans 3 (75%)
Fun Facts: Dec 26-Jan 1, 2005-06
The Associated Press recently sat down with Tim “Queen Bee” Duncan at a local Dairy Queen for this exclusive one-on-one interview.
AP: So, “Queen Bee”—can I call you that?
TD: That or T-Dunc. I go by either.
AP: How does it feel to be the fledgling WFBL’s first EBP who doesn’t get mentioned in the league’s weekly press release, “This Week in the WFBL”?
TD: What’s an EBP?
AP: It’s kind of equivalent to the MVP of the now-defunct NBA.
TD: MVP...That stood for...
AP: Most Valuable Player.
TD: Right. Hey, would you like more fry sauce?
AP: Sure. So, anyway, how did that feel?
TD: Being an MVP?
AP: EBP. And then not getting mentioned—
TD: Oh, yeah. I really didn’t notice.
AP: There are some who believe that you were slighted because of the personal biases of Commissioner Ben Barnes.
TD: Ben who?
AP: He’s the commissioner of the fledgling WFBL and, interestingly, the owner and coach of the Magna Township Underdogs, your next opponent.
TD: Oh. You spilled some chocolate syrup on your lapel.
AP: Thanks.
TD: No problem.
AP: So, is it safe to say that there’s some bad blood between you and the U-dogs’ owner that could rear its ugly head in this week’s matchup?
TD: No, I wouldn’t say that.
AP: Oh. Well, wouldn’t you at least say that you’ll be up for this game?
TD: Yes, that I would say.
AP: And couldn’t one conjecture that the reason you will be up for this game has something to do with your relationship with Barnes?
TD: Ted Barnes?
AP: No, Ben Barnes.
TD: Who was he again?
AP: Um, never mind. Maybe one reason you’ll be up for this game is because it’s the first-ever matchup between Rasheed “Snowflake” Wallace and Kobe “Mamba” Bryant since Mamba forced Wallace out of town.
TD: He did? I didn’t know that.
AP: Sure he did. An anonymous source said so Sunday from his Underdogs’ team headquarters in Logan.
TD: Really!
AP: So, could one say that the Snowflake-Mamba matchup is one that has you really motivated for this week?
TD: You mean, you want to print a story on that, and you’d really like a statement from me to that effect?
AP: Yes, please.
TD: No.
AP: Couldn’t you at least say that the general public will be interested in such a matchup?
TD: Well, you know, the funny thing about this league is that players don’t really “matchup” with each other in the traditional sense. Our guys will play their games, and the other guys will play theirs, and you could actually go all week without Mamba and ‘Sheed ever even seeing each other.
AP: But, supposing they do, what would be your prediction?
TD: Snowflake would win.
AP: No, I mean would they shake hands, ignore each other, get into a fistfight, or hug and kiss each other like they used to do when they were teammates?
TD: That’s what you want to write your article about?
AP: Oh, yeah! That’s what everybody is dying to know.
TD: Are they only dying to know it because that’s what you always write about? Do you think the fans might care a little bit more about the actual game if you knew enough about basketball to actually write something intelligent about it?
AP: Maybe. So, what do you think about the ‘Dogs’ new unis?
TD: I think they look like pajamas.
AP: Really?! Can I quote you on that?
TD: Sure.
AP: Would you say you’re particularly motivated for this week’s matchup because you think the Dogs’ unis look like pajamas?
TD: No, I wouldn’t say that.
AP: But one might speculate that this is the case.
TD: I suppose I can’t stop you from speculating.
AP: Thanks. This has been really useful.
TD: Anytime. Please, allow me to pay for your Peanut Buster Parfait.
AP: I thought you’d never ask.
Truman Barnes contributed to this article.
If you're impressed with Kevin Durant's limericks, you should check out his tweets.
PARK CITY (AP)—Any Sundancer will tell you that one of the most frustrating things about this season has been losing close games they could have won. For Kevin Durant, their 5-4 loss to Rigby in Week 2 was especially hard to take.
"After losing such a close one, then having to hear all the hype about crappy Redickulous... I just grabbed my pen and paper. You know, I'm only truly happy when I'm writing poetry."
So, after avenging that early season loss with a 5-4 win over Rigby this week, it was only fitting that the whole team assembled at Robert Redford's private lodge for a special reading from Durant. It went a little something like this:
There once was a team from Rigby
Who hosted the squad from Park City
They started Redick and Duhon
While Boozer said "EH MON!"
And they pulled out the 5 to 4 vict'ry
Well the 'Dancers didn't take too kindly
To being put into rhymes so slightly
They looked ahead to week ten
When they could play them again
And beat those Trojans outrightly
The 'Dancers were led by Durant and Wade
While LeBron fronted the Trojan parade
40 from Durant was sure great
Until LeBron said: "How about 48?"
As the crowd looked on dismayed
Durant and LeBron traded blow for blow
Exchanging the lead to and fro
Rigby struggled hitting a three
But Park City said: "Here's the ball for free"
'Til it came down to the last whistle blow
In the final moments the Dancers led 5-4
LeBron said: "The ball once more!"
But when he clanked the winning three
The crowd chanted: "Durant for EBP!"
And the Trojans were shown the door
Around the WFBL
Abominables 5, Tigers 4
Jai-Rai 6, Butchers 3
Stratagem 6, Gators 3
SnowBees 5, Underdogs 4Kings 7, Iguanas 2
Week 10 Game of the Week Voting Results:
Park City Sundancers 1 (25%)
Rigby Trojans 3 (75%)
Week 9 EBP:
Steve Nash, New York—7 votes (70% of vote)
________________________________________________________
Fun Facts: Dec 26-Jan 1, 2005-06Gallon of gas: $3.10
Gallon of milk: $2.50
#1 Song: "Don't Forget About Us"—Mariah Carey
#1 Movie: "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe"
Each week, This Week in the WFBL looks back and shines a light on a moment in the WFBL's illustrious history. This week, we look at Week 7 (which would have been Week 10 had the league started on time) from 2005-06 (Dec 26-Jan 1). The WFBL was still getting its feet wet, especially when it came their relationship with the League's beat reporters. It was much more difficult to get a story back then, and this encounter between the AP and Tim Duncan highlights that fact. At least Timmy offered to foot the bill.
WEEK SEVEN, DEC 26-JAN 1, 2005-06
Queen Bee Wants to Beat U-Dogs and Their “Pajama-Like” Uniforms
The Associated Press recently sat down with Tim “Queen Bee” Duncan at a local Dairy Queen for this exclusive one-on-one interview.
AP: So, “Queen Bee”—can I call you that?TD: That or T-Dunc. I go by either.
AP: How does it feel to be the fledgling WFBL’s first EBP who doesn’t get mentioned in the league’s weekly press release, “This Week in the WFBL”?
TD: What’s an EBP?
AP: It’s kind of equivalent to the MVP of the now-defunct NBA.
TD: MVP...That stood for...
AP: Most Valuable Player.
TD: Right. Hey, would you like more fry sauce?
AP: Sure. So, anyway, how did that feel?
TD: Being an MVP?
AP: EBP. And then not getting mentioned—
TD: Oh, yeah. I really didn’t notice.
AP: There are some who believe that you were slighted because of the personal biases of Commissioner Ben Barnes.
TD: Ben who?
AP: He’s the commissioner of the fledgling WFBL and, interestingly, the owner and coach of the Magna Township Underdogs, your next opponent.
TD: Oh. You spilled some chocolate syrup on your lapel.
AP: Thanks.
TD: No problem.
AP: So, is it safe to say that there’s some bad blood between you and the U-dogs’ owner that could rear its ugly head in this week’s matchup?
TD: No, I wouldn’t say that.
AP: Oh. Well, wouldn’t you at least say that you’ll be up for this game?
TD: Yes, that I would say.
AP: And couldn’t one conjecture that the reason you will be up for this game has something to do with your relationship with Barnes?
TD: Ted Barnes?
AP: No, Ben Barnes.
TD: Who was he again?
AP: Um, never mind. Maybe one reason you’ll be up for this game is because it’s the first-ever matchup between Rasheed “Snowflake” Wallace and Kobe “Mamba” Bryant since Mamba forced Wallace out of town.
TD: He did? I didn’t know that.
AP: Sure he did. An anonymous source said so Sunday from his Underdogs’ team headquarters in Logan.
TD: Really!
AP: So, could one say that the Snowflake-Mamba matchup is one that has you really motivated for this week?
TD: You mean, you want to print a story on that, and you’d really like a statement from me to that effect?
AP: Yes, please.
TD: No.
AP: Couldn’t you at least say that the general public will be interested in such a matchup?
TD: Well, you know, the funny thing about this league is that players don’t really “matchup” with each other in the traditional sense. Our guys will play their games, and the other guys will play theirs, and you could actually go all week without Mamba and ‘Sheed ever even seeing each other.
AP: But, supposing they do, what would be your prediction?
TD: Snowflake would win.
AP: No, I mean would they shake hands, ignore each other, get into a fistfight, or hug and kiss each other like they used to do when they were teammates?
TD: That’s what you want to write your article about?
AP: Oh, yeah! That’s what everybody is dying to know.
TD: Are they only dying to know it because that’s what you always write about? Do you think the fans might care a little bit more about the actual game if you knew enough about basketball to actually write something intelligent about it?
AP: Maybe. So, what do you think about the ‘Dogs’ new unis?
TD: I think they look like pajamas.
AP: Really?! Can I quote you on that?
TD: Sure.
AP: Would you say you’re particularly motivated for this week’s matchup because you think the Dogs’ unis look like pajamas?
TD: No, I wouldn’t say that.
AP: But one might speculate that this is the case.
TD: I suppose I can’t stop you from speculating.
AP: Thanks. This has been really useful.
TD: Anytime. Please, allow me to pay for your Peanut Buster Parfait.
AP: I thought you’d never ask.
Truman Barnes contributed to this article.
That interview with Duncan is a classic. Thank goodness for the WFBL!
ReplyDeleteGiven the obvious poetic prowess of our league, I motion that "This Week in the WFBL" is changed to "This Week in Poetry in the WFBL."
ReplyDelete