Look at Dem, They'a da Kings a' New Yawk
The Maggette Reuben, coming soon to New York delis everywhere.
NEPHI (AP)—Start spreadin' the news! For the first time since crowning themselves two and a half seasons ago, the Kings are living up to their name. Winners of five in a row, New York has climbed to only a game behind Zermatt in the World Conference standings. I know what you are thinking: Why haven't we heard anything about this team? Are there no reporters in their city? What's the story behind the Kings' remarkable about face?
Well, for starters, key players like Paul Pierce and Troy Murphy have gotten healthy. Plus, the front office has been making all the right moves, such as trading for Antawn Jamison. But the turnaround has also been greatly aided by the contributions of a pair of seldom used bench players.
With a week 10 matchup against conference nemesis Maracaibo looming, resident computer expert DeJuan Blair hacked the internet, modifying Fran Hopkin's password so he couldn't log on to his league account and adjust his lineup. It took Iguanas' tech support a month to fix the problem. New York dominated Maracaibo 7-2.
The Kings' hijinks continued in week 12 as Thabo "Swiss Mister" Sefolosha infiltrated the Sundancer locker room on a secret mission to unplug Chris Kaman's milk stocked mini fridge. The Milkman took one curdled swig as he was warming up for his first game and ended up missing the entire week. New York narrowly held off Park City 5-4.
But alas, not all of New York's wins have been the result of felonies. There have also been some shrewd lineup choices, such as starting Corey Maggette in place of a red hot Stephen Jackson this past week.
Teammate and closet "foodie" Steve Nash offered Maggette some high praise, "Unlike most bench guys, who typically produce turd sandwiches when the starting lineup beckons, Corey went and made himself a big old double decker EBP Reuben. Mmmmh, who's hungry?"
The Kings feasted on Nephi 6-3.
Week 13 Game of the Week Voting Results:
Nephi Stratagem 5 (62%)
Fun Facts: Jan 21-27, 2008
ZERMATT (AP)—7. And it came to pass in the commencement
of the thirteenth week of the reign of the Tigers, the people of Nephi did take up arms once again against the Great Abomination of Zermatt.
8. But behold the destruction of the people of Nephi was even more fierce than it had hitherto been. And lo, many rebounds, the sharing of the ball one with another, the robbing and plundering of the basketball, and the blocking of shots were made by the Great Abomination. And the Great Abomination was inspired by the opportunity to move up in the standings.
9. But the people of Nephi were inspired by a better cause, for they were not fighting for rankings of power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, their wives and their children, and their all. But mostly for their pride; for the people of Nephi in all honesty had not much more for which to fight.
10. Nevertheless, when the men of Justin Banks saw the fierceness and the anger of the Great Abomination, they did shrink and did flee from them. And because of the pride for which the people of Nephi did fight, which pride did once again enter into their hearts, yea I say that because of this pride, the people of Nephi did suffer great loss.
11. And the number of that loss was 8-1, in the favor of the Great Abomination.
12. Now this great loss of the people of Nephi, and the great slaughter which was among them, would not have happened had it not been for the Abomination which was among them.
13. And thus ended the thirteenth week of the first year of the reign of the Tigers over the people of the WFBL.
The Abominables would lose only one more series the rest of the season (including postseason) on the way to the first of their back-to-back titles. The Stratagem would win only one more series to finish out the regular season—and went on to finish with a streak of 12 losses in 13 weeks.
The Maggette Reuben, coming soon to New York delis everywhere.
NEPHI (AP)—Start spreadin' the news! For the first time since crowning themselves two and a half seasons ago, the Kings are living up to their name. Winners of five in a row, New York has climbed to only a game behind Zermatt in the World Conference standings. I know what you are thinking: Why haven't we heard anything about this team? Are there no reporters in their city? What's the story behind the Kings' remarkable about face?
Well, for starters, key players like Paul Pierce and Troy Murphy have gotten healthy. Plus, the front office has been making all the right moves, such as trading for Antawn Jamison. But the turnaround has also been greatly aided by the contributions of a pair of seldom used bench players.
With a week 10 matchup against conference nemesis Maracaibo looming, resident computer expert DeJuan Blair hacked the internet, modifying Fran Hopkin's password so he couldn't log on to his league account and adjust his lineup. It took Iguanas' tech support a month to fix the problem. New York dominated Maracaibo 7-2.
The Kings' hijinks continued in week 12 as Thabo "Swiss Mister" Sefolosha infiltrated the Sundancer locker room on a secret mission to unplug Chris Kaman's milk stocked mini fridge. The Milkman took one curdled swig as he was warming up for his first game and ended up missing the entire week. New York narrowly held off Park City 5-4.
But alas, not all of New York's wins have been the result of felonies. There have also been some shrewd lineup choices, such as starting Corey Maggette in place of a red hot Stephen Jackson this past week.
Teammate and closet "foodie" Steve Nash offered Maggette some high praise, "Unlike most bench guys, who typically produce turd sandwiches when the starting lineup beckons, Corey went and made himself a big old double decker EBP Reuben. Mmmmh, who's hungry?"
The Kings feasted on Nephi 6-3.
Around the WFBL
Abominables 5, Underdogs 4
Sundancers 6, Tigers 3
Butchers 5, Gators 4
Jai-Rai 6, SnowBees 3Trojans 5, Iguanas 4
Week 13 Game of the Week Voting Results:
New York Kings 3 (37%)
Nephi Stratagem 5 (62%)
Week 12 EBP:
Chris Paul, Zermatt—4 votes (50% of vote)
________________________________________________________
Fun Facts: Jan 21-27, 2008Loaf of Bread: $1.59
Gallon of milk: $2.74
#1 Song: "Low"—Flo Rida ft. T-Pain
#1 Movie: "Meet the Spartans"
Each week, This Week in the WFBL looks back and shines a light on a moment in the WFBL's illustrious history. This week, we look at Week 13 from 2008(Jan 21- 27). Zermatt was fresh of a disheartening loss to the Sundancers and needed a win in a big way. Nephi, in the midst of a four-week losing streak—the last three a combined 5-22—were happy to oblige. Here now the continuation of the account of their wars and contentions:
WEEK THIRTEEN, JAN 21-27, 2008
A Continuation of the Account of the Wars and Contentions between the Inhabitants of Nephi and the Great Abomination from the Land of Zermatt
ZERMATT (AP)—7. And it came to pass in the commencementof the thirteenth week of the reign of the Tigers, the people of Nephi did take up arms once again against the Great Abomination of Zermatt.
8. But behold the destruction of the people of Nephi was even more fierce than it had hitherto been. And lo, many rebounds, the sharing of the ball one with another, the robbing and plundering of the basketball, and the blocking of shots were made by the Great Abomination. And the Great Abomination was inspired by the opportunity to move up in the standings.
9. But the people of Nephi were inspired by a better cause, for they were not fighting for rankings of power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, their wives and their children, and their all. But mostly for their pride; for the people of Nephi in all honesty had not much more for which to fight.
10. Nevertheless, when the men of Justin Banks saw the fierceness and the anger of the Great Abomination, they did shrink and did flee from them. And because of the pride for which the people of Nephi did fight, which pride did once again enter into their hearts, yea I say that because of this pride, the people of Nephi did suffer great loss.
11. And the number of that loss was 8-1, in the favor of the Great Abomination.
12. Now this great loss of the people of Nephi, and the great slaughter which was among them, would not have happened had it not been for the Abomination which was among them.
13. And thus ended the thirteenth week of the first year of the reign of the Tigers over the people of the WFBL.
The Abominables would lose only one more series the rest of the season (including postseason) on the way to the first of their back-to-back titles. The Stratagem would win only one more series to finish out the regular season—and went on to finish with a streak of 12 losses in 13 weeks.
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