How Do We Love the Power Rankings? Let Us Count the Ways
It's finally here! The game where players can stop pretending that they are somehow less important than some vague, artificial concept of "team." The week when we finally shed all that meaningless dross that bogs us down during the season (setting screens, playing help defense, playing any kind of defense) and focus on the true essence of sports: showing off and accumulating good stats, in a venue chosen not for its convenience or practicality but rather for its potential to expand worldwide interest and increase revenue. Viva el dobleve-effe-be-ele!
It's been a poetic year for the WFBL, from J.J. Redick's haiku, to Dirk Nowitzki's iambic pentameter, to Kevin Durant's limericks. This week's Valentine's Day edition of the Power Rankings continues that theme, with verses selected from The Complete Works of Phil Jackson, the WFBL's poet-in-residence, along with a surprise visit from guest analyst Robert Frost.
Team, Rank, (Previous), Record
1 (1) 74-57-4Roses are red,
Meniscuses are small.
With a backup like Collison,
Who needs Chris Paul?
2 (4) 73-57-5Roses are red,
Gators are green.
Is this the best season
Idaho's ever done seen?
3 (2) 76-56-3 And sometimes they're Derrick.
You lost to your rival
Without Chris Paul there? Ick.
4 (2) 69-63-3 Roses are red,
SnowBees are fierce.
But 5-4 isn't bad
With an injured Paul Pierce.
5 (8) 65-64-4Roses are red,
Potatoes are brown.
The playoffs seem likely
With King James in town.
6 (7) 64-68-3Roses are red,
Daisies are yellow.
For Richmond to contend,
They're gonna need Carmelo.
7 (5) 68-63-4Las rosas son rojas,
El arbol da ojas.
Los Iguanas son flojas,
Y con esto me enojas!
English translation:
Roses are red,
The tree bears leaves.
The Iguanas are lazy,
And that makes me mad!
(Except in Spanish all the lines rhyme. Spanish is clearly a superior language.)
8 (9) 62-72-1Roses are red,
They grow in a bush.
Is this the long-awaited
SnowBees' playoff push?
9 (6) 68-65-0Roses are red,
The Jai-Rai are (is?) falling.
Will their playoff dreams end
When the Trojans come calling?
10 (11) 63-73-2Two centers diverged on draft day,
And sorry I could not take them both,
And be one manager, long I stood
And looked at Chris Bosh as long as I could.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim. ...
I shall be telling this with a sigh,
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two centers diverged on draft day, and Nephi,
Nephi took Amare Stoudemire,
And that has made all the difference.
11 (10) 56-75-4Roses are fraglie,
So are the Tigers.
The people of Bayside
Just want to cry-gers.
12 (12) 57-75-3Roses are red.
Post this on your blogs:
This year puts the "under"
In the term "Underdogs."
Don't forget to vote on the Game of the Week and Week 15's EBP! Enjoy the All-Star festivities! And in case you forgot, here's the list of this year's All-Stars.
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